Follow Your Arrow
by Smoaking Green Arrow
Summary: Oliver and Felicity are compelled back to Starling City after a brief break from the chaos. Story takes place after season 3.
1. Chapter 1

If You Leave

Oliver woke up and reached across the bed without opening his eyes. He'd gotten so used to touching her, first thing every morning, that when all he felt was cold sheets, it worried him. He opened his eyes and glanced around the room, realizing that the whole loft was silent. He pulled himself out of the bed and threw on his pants. Oliver stumbled through the bedroom and into the living room and kitchen area.

The loft was big and open, the perfect place for him to spend the past three weeks with Felicity. He glanced out onto the balcony, but he didn't see her there either. "Felicity?" He called, opening the door to the bathroom. His heart began to pick up speed, and he ran back into the bedroom, noticing that all of her clothes were strewn around the floor. She wasn't the neatest person in the world, but this wasn't how she'd left her things the night before. He couldn't tell what was missing, but he didn't see her purse or cell phone anywhere. "Felicity!" He said again, making his way to the balcony and stepping out. He combed over the beach with his eyes, and while there were plenty of blondes, none of them were his.

He was really worried now, and he called her name one more time as he opened the door leading to the hallway. He saw her leaning against the wall, her knees curled up to her chest. She was wearing his button down shirt and socks, but that was it. He rushed to her and pulled her to her feet, dragging her into her arms. "What are you doing out here?" He asked, touching her face and seeing tears. "What's wrong?"

She pulled away, grabbing her key card and purse that were still on the ground, "Roy called. Something happened. He said that Ray's condition is worsening."

"But they said that he was stable just yesterday."

"I know. I don't know what happened, but we need to go back to Starling."

"Of course." Oliver answered, "Let's go start packing our things." Oliver led her inside and helped Felicity get her clothes together, "What happened in here, anyway?" he asked, trying to distract her.

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand at him, "The phone was ringing, and I couldn't find anything to throw on. I was trying to leave so I wouldn't wake you up."

He picked up one of her tiny lingerie nightgown things between two of his fingers, "I don't remember you taking this off at any point last night."

"Mm," she said, "And you probably won't, Mr. al Ghul."

"I'm not Ra's al Ghul."

"No, you're just married." She offered him a fake smile, and he could hear the tension in her voice. Their lack of sex was clearly irritating for both of them.

"I don't feel married to Nyssa." He said, trying for the millionth time to make her budge.

"Well, maybe that's because you never slept with her. Surprisingly, I might add, since your list is so long."

He pursed his lips and hesitated, "I didn't know we were being mean this morning."

Felicity stopped her quest to shove everything into her suitcase to look at him, "I'm sorry, that was mean. We're not having the best morning."

"No, I guess not." He said. "But it's okay. You're worried. I think we both woke up a little on edge."

"Why were you on edge?" Felicity asked.

"You weren't here when I woke up."

She snorted, "Oliver, I was just outside the door."

"I know," he answered, "It's just that usually when I wake up, I touch you before I even open my eyes. It's only been three weeks, but I've grown pretty fond of the routine."

"Well, what about that morning that I made you pancakes?" she asked, pointing a finger at him.

"That was my all-time second favorite way to wake up; but having you next to me is my first."

She smiled, "If you keep talking like that I might end up breaking our agreement."

"Your agreement. I was never on board."

She smirked, "As your efforts have proven. But I still refuse to sleep with a married man."

"I respect you, you know that right? And I would never make you do something that you don't want to do."

Felicity laughed, "You don't even need to confirm that statement. Come on, let's get going. We've got a long drive ahead of us."

He threw their bags over his shoulder and took her hand, "Okay, back to Starling we go."

* * *

They were walking into the hospital four hours later. The whole team was gathered around Ray, who looked pale and in bad shape. "What's going on?" Felicity asked, dropping Oliver's hand and circling the bed to stand beside Diggle.

"They said his organs are failing. There's a viable donor in Central City, but they don't know if they can get the organs here fast enough."

"Did you call Barry?" Felicity asked.

Diggle, Thea, Roy, and Laurel all exchanged looks. "No," the all mumbled. Felicity pulled out her phone and was dialing before she was out of the room.

"Hey, Felicity! What's up?"

"I need a really big favor from you and please know that I wouldn't ask you to do something like this unless it was important."

"Okay," Barry said hesitantly, "What is it?"

"Ray's organs are failing. There's a donor in Central City but we don't have much time."

"Even if I could be there in ten minutes, what doctor is going to use organs that were delivered to him by a boy in a red leather suit?"

"The kind that wants to save a life. Don't worry about that, just, figure out how you can get them here, I'll figure out the rest."

"Okay, I'm on it. See you soon."

Barry was about to hang up when he heard Felicity speak again, "Barry," she said, "Thank you. I think we owe you a couple of favors now."

"Helping you guys isn't a chore, Felicity, I'll always be there if you need me."

They hung up and Felicity went back into the room. "He's on his way." She said.

Laurel crossed her arms, "Felicity, I understand how hard this all is, but how is this going to work out? Is Barry just going to run over the organs and we'll put them in ourselves? Doctors have forms and papers that are attached to organ donors." As she spoke, Felicity pulled out her computer and was already typing.

"Thank you, for your kind input Laurel, but according to their database, the organs are ready for delivery. Everything is set, Barry just needs to get to them before they're put on a helicopter."

"If they're ready, why do we need Barry?" Roy asked.

"It'll take them hours to get a helicopter ready." Felicity responded, not bothering to look up at them. "Besides, according to their modified files, the organs have been delivered.

Laurel looked uncomfortable, "Felicity, this all seems really…wrong."

"We need to save him, Laurel. If it were any of us, we'd be doing everything we can, regardless of morals."

Laurel nodded, looking at Ray, "You're right. When will Barry be here?"

Barry entered the room right on cue, carrying a cooler. "I chucked my suit behind a dumpster. Now what?"

Felicity smiled, "It's easy; all we have to do is leave the organs right where they belong. I'll ask the surgeon if they've arrived, and when he checks, voila, we'll have ourselves a transplant. It won't make sense to either hospital…but then again it never really does when I tamper with their records. Anyway, all of the files are updated, so even if they check, everything for Ray's surgery is in order. All they'll have left to do is get him into an operating room."

Barry followed her out of the room, with Oliver on their heels. "Felicity, are you okay? You're moving a mile a minute."

"I'm fine. I'll be fine once he's fine." She gestured back to the room. "Stay with him, call me if anything changes."

The rest of the plan only took about a half an hour to execute, and Felicity sighed in relief as the doctors wheeled Ray off to the O.R. She sat down in a chair in the waiting room and slipped her shoes off. She lifted her legs and tucked them under her. Oliver walked towards her and took the seat beside her. Without a word, she curled her hands around his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Closing her eyes, she finally felt tired.

"You were amazing today. You did all of that on your own."

She smiled, "Barry helped a little."

Oliver laughed, "Sure, but I'm still...very impressed by you, Felicity."

A doctor came into the waiting room and looked at all of them, "The surgery should take four or five hours, and he probably won't wake up until tomorrow. You should all head home and get some rest."

Felicity lifted her head, "Would you call me when he's out of surgery, let me know how it went?"

He smiled, "Sure, Ms. Smoak. Does Mr. Palmer have any relatives that we can reach?"

"No," Oliver answered, "We're his family."

The doctor nodded, "Well, I'll be in touch when he's done."

They all thanked the doctor, and Oliver sat beside Felicity as each of their friends praised her and welcomed them back on their way out. When they were the only two left, he sighed, "Thea's been staying at Roy's, so we can stay at the loft tonight, or your place, whatever you want."

"I'd kind of like to be in my own bed tonight. I didn't realize how much I missed Starling." She laughed.

Oliver nodded, "Do you want some company?"

Felicity rested her lips on his shoulder, "Of course I do." She answered into his jacket. "I'll always want you there when I fall asleep." She lifted her head, "You know, for how strong you are, you're surprisingly comfortable to sleep with. I mean, sometimes your shoulder is a little painful, and you can throw a pretty harsh elbow at me every once in a while, but aside from that…" She smiled at him, "I love spending the night with you." She whispered.

Oliver laughed, remembering the argument they'd had when she'd let that sentence slip out and the cute way she always counts down from three when she needs to gather her thoughts. "Well, I love spending my nights with you, too." He whispered back, brushing her hair from her face.

"Okay, so let's go home." She answered. Oliver kissed her forehead and held her hand as they walked out of the hospital.

* * *

 _A/N: This story takes place after the season 3 finale but it does not reflect any truth of how season 4 will be! I do not own the characters this story depicts, just wanted to give us all some entertainment and Olicity feels to hold us over until season 4 premiers!_


	2. Chapter 2

Wildest Dreams

Ever since his fight with Ra's, Oliver sometimes found himself jolting awake in the middle of the night. He could still remember every detail of being on top of that mountain. The moment that the sword went through his chest, he knew that he was dead. Every hope that he ever had for the future escaped his mind. His whole world went blank for a moment, and his memory only returned as he fell down the side of the mountain. But that brief moment, where he couldn't remember his memories, his life, or even his name; that moment still scared him to death.

He often dreamt of that moment, could remember all too vividly what it felt like to see your whole life just _ending_. That moment is what made it possible for him to join Ra's, to marry Nyssa, to hurt his friends, and to get on the plane with Ra's; not intending to come home. There was nothing in the world that could be worse than that moment, of losing himself completely.

The recurring dream was more of a memory than anything else. The only difference was that on special occasions, he'd see the people he loved just after the sword entered his body. Sometimes the dream would play out exactly as it had happened, but other times, new and surprising terrors would be there for him following that moment of hopelessness. The last thing he'd see before he died would be Thea, falling to her knees in front of him, or Laurel, watching with tears in her eyes. Roy, looking at him like he'd let him down. A couple of times he even saw Diggle raising his gun at Ra's and knowing that he'd die too, but also knowing that he couldn't save him.

The worst, of course, were the nights that Felicity showed up on the mountain. He'd watch as she crumpled to the ground, her mouth wide with horrific screams. The falling sensation after Ra's kicked him over the edge was always what woke him up. And every time, he would jolt awake and glance at the bed next to him. Luckily Felicity was a stubborn sleeper; she'd mumble or turn over, but his turmoil never woke her up completely.

On nights like tonight, when the dream felt especially vivid, he'd quietly get up and get dressed. Then he'd go to the cemetery and talk to Sara. It always made him feel better, to have someone to tell his secrets to, someone who he trusted. It also made him feel connected to Sara again, like she was still a part of him. He told her things about his life and those dreams that no one else knew. Oliver put his shoes on silently, but for some reason, Felicity rolled over tonight and opened her eyes. Oliver froze where he was. "What are you doing?" she asked groggily, yawning and stretching her arms.

"I just had a bad dream, I'm going to get some air." He watched her, always surprised at how beautiful she could look when she woke up, "Go back to sleep, I'll be right back." He said gently.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her eyes struggling to stay open.

He smiled at her, "Yes, Felicity." He kissed her head and she sighed, falling back into her own dreams, which seemed much better than his. He closed the door behind him as quietly as he could. Felicity's apartment was only a few blocks from the cemetery, and he liked to walk, trying to shake the images of his dreams from his head. They were so realistic that he might've been convinced that his friends and family were there on that day. Seeing Thea's face as she fell to her knees seemed so true that he'd had to dial her number the first time it happened, just to hear her voice and convince himself that it was just a dream.

As he reached Sara's grave, he sat down in front of it. "Hey," he said softly. "It's been a few days since I talked to you. I thought the dreams were ending, but it was a Felicity night tonight. Ra's put the sword right through me, and when he stepped back, there she was. Just standing there with these sad eyes, like I let her down by dying." Oliver forced a laugh, for Sara's sake, "She screamed, and I can't get the image or the sound of it out of my head. It's really like she was there. She fell to her knees as I did, and right before everything went dark and Ra's pushed me over, I just watched her. I just watched her scream and cry, knowing that it was over forever."

Oliver took a deep breath. "These dreams are going to kill me. They're so hard to shake when I wake up. I see them in my head all day long. I thought that killing Ra's freed me. I thought that I could stop fearing that day and stop fearing death. But I guess now I'm just afraid of what will become of the people around me when I die. How can I save them and protect them if I'm gone? Maybe that's a question I'll never get an answer to, but I just…I know it's always going to keep me up at night."

Oliver touched his finger to Sara's grave stone, "I miss you so much, Sara. I feel like you understood this part of me better than anyone else, the darkness, like you said. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish you were here." He rested his hand on top of her stone before turning to leave. "Felicity." He said, surprised to see her standing there.

"Hi." She said simply, pushing her hands into the pockets of her coat.

"How long have you been there?"

"I followed you. You seemed rattled, and I couldn't fall back asleep after you left. How often do you come here? And why didn't you tell me about it? Not that I'm jealous. Although in a weird way that's kind of _exactly_ how I feel right now." She took a deep breath and glanced away, "That's weird. And horrible. It's just, the way that you talked to her, Oliver," she shook her head, "You don't talk to me like that. You don't open up like that with me."

Oliver sighed, "Felicity, I don't want to do this here."

Felicity hesitated and then nodded, frustrated that his guard seemed up, now, just after he spilled his heart out to a ghost. She threw her hands up in defeat. "Fine, Oliver, how about we don't do this anywhere." She turned around, and just as quickly as she'd appeared, she was fleeing.

"Felicity," Oliver said, but she didn't even turn around. He turned back to Sara's stone, "That wasn't fair…am I wrong? Maybe I should have told her about this, but it's not like I'm doing anything wrong, right?" He crouched down in front of the headstone, his hands touching the grass. Oliver felt like something was different, and he glanced around the spot, realizing that the dirt was softer, like it'd been moved.

He looked by the graves on either side of hers, but only Sara's appeared to be touched. He shook his head, not knowing what to make of it. But he had a bigger battle waiting for him back at Felicity's apartment.

He walked slowly, wanting to give her some time to cool down. The sun was just rising as he walked back, and by the time he reached her door, the birds were awake and chirping. Felicity never closed her bedroom door; but there was a first time for everything. He took a deep breath before knocking, knowing that she was really mad at him. There was no response behind the door, and he didn't hear her moving around, either. "Felicity, come on, let me in. Please?"

"No." she answered simply.

"I don't want to fight with you through a door." He said, holding his hand up to touch the cold wood.

"I thought we agreed, we aren't having this conversation at all."

"No, Felicity, you agreed. You said that."

"But you didn't stop me."

He sighed, "I should have." She didn't answer, so he tried again, "Will you open the door please? So we can talk about this like normal adults?" He waited another moment until he heard her unlock the door. She didn't open it though, so he did. She retreated back to the bed, curling herself into a ball and leaning against the headboard. Oliver took a seat on the chair by the window. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Because _I_ don't even think I'm sure what I'm mad at you for." Her hands were resting on her bare knees, but she threw them up in a frustrated gesture as she spoke.

"I should have told you that I visit Sara. And about the dreams."

"I don't want you to think that you have to tell me every detail of your life, Oliver, but it's like you said, I feel like Sara understood you better than anyone; better than I do."

Oliver sighed, "Come here." He said. Felicity hesitated, but eventually stood up and walked over to him. He opened his arms to her, and she sat down on his lap, placing her legs on either side of him. "All I meant by that was that she understood the hero stuff." He explained, "She knew what it was like, you know? To put the mask on, to go out there every night, to worry…all the time, about so many people. She got that part of me."

"But I don't know what part of you that I get. You don't tell me, you don't let me in like that." She said, pressing her fists into his chest, like she was trying to push her way in.

Oliver traced her hips, "You get every part of me, Felicity. I didn't tell you about the dreams because I didn't want you to worry about me."

She sighed, resting her forehead to his, "Do you promise that's all it is? You trust me, you know I can handle it?" He nodded. "Good," she said, "I'm sorry that I ambushed you. That was wrong of me. And creepy. I shouldn't have eavesdropped on you…or freaked out like that."

He smiled, "I think we should have all of our fights like this." He said, leaning forward and running his hands up her legs, over her ass, and up her back.

She laughed, tipping her head back as he kissed her neck, "What? Me straddling you?"

"Yes. It makes the fighting part more enjoyable." He said into her neck. He ran his lips over the skin on her neck, and she was straining to give him access. Her hands were clenched to his shirt. It might've been that post-fight, make-up feeling, but Oliver couldn't help but grab her hips and push her shirt up. His hands explored the skin on her stomach, then he ran his fingers up her sides. She bowed her head back down to look him in the eyes, and then she raised her arms above her head.

Oliver didn't hesitated to pull her shirt all the way off and toss it across the room. She had his off a moment later and flung it in the direction that hers had gone. Oliver's mouth was against hers with an urgency that neither of them had been expecting. She ran her hands up his arms, stopping over the scars that she could feel on his skin, until she was touching his hair. She pulled him closer, so that her chest was pressed against him. "Felicity," his voice was almost a growl, "Are you sure?"

Her eyes met his, and she didn't answer. His fingers froze, but the absence of his touch made her forget what she'd been thinking. She just wanted him to be touching her again. She crashed her lips into his and rocked her hips against him.

Oliver let out a deep moan in response. He was just reaching behind her, his fingers coming over the clip on her bra, when his phone rang. They sighed in unison. "Ignore it." He mumbled against her lips. But then Felicity's phone started going off. Oliver groaned, "Why, God, why?" he dropped his hands, his head falling back on the chair as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Aw," she said, leaning forward and placing light kisses over his chest, neck and face. When her lips were just outside his ear, she said, "Get a divorce and we can finish this…conversation." He groaned again, and she laughed, climbing off of him to answer her phone. "Hello?" He watched her as she looked around for her shirt. "Malcolm?" she asked, meeting Oliver's eyes. "I thought I blocked your number." She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I get it; you're the great and powerful Ra's al Ghul. From my experience though, that title isn't really one to wear proudly, and it's a little weird that you talk about yourself like you're the wizard of Oz or something…okay, okay, relax, he's right here." She passed the phone to Oliver.

"Malcolm." Oliver said coldly. He hadn't heard from Malcolm since he left him in Nanda Parbat. He'd kept good on his promise though, no one had been killed in the name of The League.

"Oliver, I need to talk to you."

"I'm glad you called." He said, looking at Felicity, "I have a divorce I need you to officiate." Felicity smiled, still standing in her bra and pajama shorts. She kissed his cheek and motioned towards the shower.

"I was actually calling about a more pressing issue." Malcolm answered.

After the events of his morning, he wasn't sure that anything could be more important than this divorce. "What is it?"

"I did something that you may not approve of. So, before you take all of my power away, I just want you to understand that I did it for Thea. I didn't want her to carry a burden around for the rest of her life that I caused."

"Sara?" Oliver asked.

"Yes. It involves Sara. I…took her. I had her body brought to Nanda Parbat and put her in the Lazarus Pit."

"You did _what_?" Oliver scorned, remembering how the dirt around Sara's grave was different than the others.

"I didn't tell Thea, and I only planned on telling you if something happened."

Oliver's breath caught, "What happened?"

Malcolm paused, "She took a breath."

* * *

 _A/N: Please review! I'd love to keep this story going, at least until season 4 comes out and we see what actually happens;) Thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

How to Save a Life

"Oliver, have you seen my hair brush?" Oliver opened the bathroom door and crossed the room in two steps. He put a hand over Felicity's wet back where she stood in her towel in front of her foggy reflection.

"No time," he said, pushing her out of the bathroom. "We need to go."

She snorted, "Go where? I'm in a towel, I think it can wait until I brush my hair and get dressed." Oliver was shoving things into her suitcase. "Of course, I guess I could go naked." She said, but he still wasn't hearing her. "Or, since you're the one packing my stuff, apparently I'll be wearing mostly lingerie." He looked at her, and then at the fists full of silky and lace garments in his hands. She raised an eyebrow and he dropped them onto the bed.

"Sorry, habit I guess. But we need to get to Nanda Parbat, so please, as fast as you find bad guys on your computer, pack this suitcase and be ready."

"Why are we going to Nanda Parbat?" she clamped her hand over her mouth, "Did Merlyn say he's going to divorce you from Nyssa?"

"Not exactly. Look, it's a long story and I promise I'll tell you as soon as you're ready to go." Oliver clapped his hands together once and stared at her with wide eyes. She lifted her hands and pulled a dress from her closet, waving it in his direction as she went back into the bathroom.

Truth be told, Felicity was the easy one. He knew that the next person he needed to talk to was going to be much, much harder. He explained the Sara situation to Felicity in the car. Her hair was still wet and she didn't have a trace of make-up on under her glasses, but she'd gotten ready in ten minutes and she was not very happy about it. The news about Sara distracted her though, and she suddenly didn't care at all.

"We're going to get Dig to come with us, aren't we?" She asked. Oliver glanced at her, noting that the nervousness on her face matched the one in her tone. Oliver just nodded once. "He doesn't want anything to do with us. He hasn't answered any of my calls since Ray got better."

"I know, Felicity. But this is Sara. He named his daughter after her, he deserves to be a part of it. Or at least the offer."

Felicity bit her lip. "I don't think that Sara can change things, Ollie."

Oliver sighed, his knuckles tightening around the steering wheel. "Let's just stop talking about it and see what happens." Felicity ran her hand up his arm and rested it on his shoulder, massaging him gently and silently. Diggle didn't trust him anymore, and he knew it, and Felicity was just collateral damage in their fight. Dig didn't hate her, but it was just awkward between them ever since they left Starling, and it was even more awkward since they came back.

* * *

Lyla opened the door after a few knocks, a baby on her hip. "Oliver," She said surprised, glancing between him and Felicity. "I'm surprised to see you two here."

"Is John home? I know he doesn't want to see me, but I wouldn't be here unless it was important."

"Uh, he's in a meeting with Waller right now." She turned to look at the clock behind her, "but he should be home shortly." She opened the door wider, "Come in."

Lyla poured them tea and sat in the chair across from them. She put Sara on the floor, and she immediately crawled her way over to Oliver. He picked her up and smiled, "You've got your daddy's eyes, for sure." Sara smiled at him, waving her arms in excitement.

"I think she remembers you." Lyla smiled. "She always did love you."

"I've missed you too, little girl, a whole lot." He whispered. Felicity learned over and took one of Sara's little hands, she made a silly face and Sara laughed.

Lyla chuckled, "She's been miserable all day long. I should have known she just needed her two favorite baby sitters to play with her."

Oliver smiled too, "So what is Dig meeting with Waller about?"

"Dangerous threat, what else? There's a new group locating themselves in Starling City. Waller thinks that since the Arrow was pronounced dead, a man named Damien Darhk has decided it's the perfect place to run his business from."

"And what's his business?" Felicity asked.

"We're not sure yet, exactly, all John and I have been doing is training the Suicide Squad and consulting with Waller, we decided to quit the field," she looked down at her daughter, "for her sake. After Deadshot died, it just seemed pointless. I don't want my baby to grow up without her parents."

"That's very brave of you," Oliver said, "I know how hard it must be for both of you…to walk away."

"Yeah," she smiled, "You did some of that for yourself huh?"

"And it wasn't easy." Felicity chimed in. "We haven't cleaned out the Arrow cave yet, I think he's feeling a little nostalgic. He still goes there to work out."

Oliver sighed, "It's not the same without Dig and Felicity there though." Felicity patted his knee, and the three of them glanced at each other like they all missed it, and had doubts, but also knew that it could never be that way again. There was sadness in each of their eyes for that. "So," he said, breaking the silence, "Who is this Damien Darhk and what does he want with Starling?"

"Well, we don't know much about him or his colleagues, but from what we can gather they're some kind of band of misfits. They have alarmingly brilliant scientists in their mix though, which is what has Waller worried. Darhk calls it The H.I.V.E, an acronym, but I think it's because he has so many workers in and out of his employment. Deadshot was a freelance killer, and he was hired by The H.I.V.E. As far as we know though, John's brother is the only assassination her performed under their service."

"What does H.I.V.E stand for?" Felicity asked.

Lyla paused, "Hierarchy of International Vengeance and Extermination." They shared another look, "It's been impossible to track them down," she said, leaning forward and bringing her hands together, "The leader of the group seems to change every few years, and the people who are hired by them don't really know anything. It's like the actual murderers are on the bottom of the totem pole. They get the name and place, do it, and it's the end of it. But they're told who they're working for, so obviously The H.I.V.E is looking for recognition. But we can't seem to figure out why they're hiring high profile murderers or why they're killing people, the murders that we linked to The H.I.V.E are unconnected and completely random."

"What about Damien Darhk?" Oliver asked.

"It's an alias. There are no records on anyone with that name who match his description or profile. I mean, the guy's a total ghost," before she could continue, the door opened and Diggle walked in. He dropped his briefcase on the table by the door and looked at them, pausing. Oliver and Felicity both stood, Sara now in Felicity's arms.

Diggle immediately crossed the room and took his daughter, who fussed for Felicity for a moment before realizing how content she was in her daddy's arms. He sat down in the chair next to Lyla with a sigh. "I figured it was only a matter of time until you two showed up here looking for help. What is it this time?" He met Oliver's eyes with a cold stare, "Should I run in front of a bus for you, or are you just going to push me in front of it anyway?"

Felicity put her hand on Oliver's, "That's not why we're here."

The glare made its way to Felicity now, "Oh, so you just wanted to pump my wife for information about Darhk and The H.I.V.E?"

Oliver cleared his throat, "No, actually, believe it or not, that was only small talk." He looked at Lyla apologetically, "I didn't want to say anything until you were both here."

"What is it, Oliver?" Lyla asked, assuring him that it was okay with a smile. Her husband had been nothing but cold and rude, but she didn't share the same opinion of Oliver that he did.

"It's about Sara." He said. Lyla and Diggle both glanced at each other and their daughter, immediate terror coming to their eyes. "No! No, no, no," Oliver back-tracked, realizing what they were thinking. "Not little Sara. She's…perfect. I meant Sara Lance."

Diggle's eyebrows pushed together, "What are you talking about, Oliver?"

"Malcolm called me about an hour ago. He dug up Sara's body and brought her to Nanda Parbat."

"I knew he was a sick monster, but what the hell would he want with Sara's body?" Diggle interrupted.

Oliver hesitated, "He put her in the Lazarus Pit. And…in his words, she took a breath." The room was silent, even little Sara was watching Oliver with wide eyes, as if she understood what he'd just said.

"What does that mean?" Lyla finally asked, her voice breaking the seconds of silence.

"I don't really know. Merlyn said that I had to see it for myself, and that I should get on the next plane."

Lyla looked at Diggle, "You have to go with Oliver and Felicity."

John still looked in shock, "How is that possible?"

"It's not. For centuries, Ra's was the only person to ever touch the water of the Lazarus Pit," Felicity said, "The Ra's that Oliver killed was the first one to ever allow an outsider into the water."

"Thea." Diggle said, and they all nodded solemnly. Thea was a whole different problem that none of them could handle thinking about at the moment.

"Ra's used to heal his favorite soldiers in the water, and it would give them strange side effects for days after they touched the Pit. But Thea was the first person to essentially be resurrected by the waters. If Malcolm is doing the same with Sara…" Felicity hesitated, "There's no way of knowing what will happen."

"Which is why we need to go." Oliver finished. "Felicity got us three tickets to Nanda Parbat that leave in an hour." He met John's gaze, "Are you in?" To all of their surprise, Diggle hesitated. Oliver knew that Diggle hated him, but he'd been hoping that he'd jump at this chance to see Sara again.

"What if Malcolm's wrong?" he asked.

"What if he's not?" Felicity countered, "I don't mean to overstep John, but you named your daughter after the hero that was Sara Lance. Despite how much you hate Oliver and me, I think you owe it to her to be there if she returns from the dead. At the very least, to give her the good news that there is a beautiful and innocent little baby living in her name."

Lyla nodded when Diggle looked at her, "She's right," she whispered, "Honey you know she's right."

* * *

Landing in Nanda Parbat was the most nerve racking thing any of them had done. No one knew about Sara besides them, Lyla, and of course Malcolm. Oliver refrained from telling Thea because he didn't want to mess with her emotions until he was certain that Sara was back. And he didn't dare toy with the hope of Laurel and Quentin Lance.

Malcolm was waiting for them outside of the fortress of his new ruler ship, "I know this is a lot," was the first thing he said.

"Just let me see her." Oliver replied.

Malcolm led them to the Pit, babbling the entire time about how he'd dug up Sara's grave in the hope of taking away some of Thea's pain. When they reached the room, Oliver ran across the floor to the Pit. Even though he'd been preparing himself for this for the last few hours, he'd never felt anything like the moment that he looked into the Pit and saw Sara lying there, like she was sleeping underwater. "How is this possible?" he looked at Malcolm.

Felicity and John had caught up and were now gazing down at Sara like he was. "Her body was…in late stages of decomposition when I put her in." Malcolm answered, "After a day, she was completely healed. I wanted to call home and say that she was back, but I didn't want to get ahead of myself. The Lazarus Pit is historically known for healing superficial wounds. There was no telling whether or not the waters would regenerate her heart and brain. I've had my men watching her around the clock, and yesterday they told me that they saw her take a breath, under the water, they saw her chest inhale."

"She…took a breath under water?" Felicity asked, staring at Sara.

"It means that her lungs are healing and moving." He answered.

"Is that it?" Oliver asked, "Has anything else happened besides that?"

"If you look closely at her chest, you'll see it move every ten to fifteen seconds. It's increasing." They all leaning over the dark water to see her chest, and sure enough, they watched it rise three times and it appeared that she was taking small breaths.

"Could this still mean that she's dead? I mean, people don't breathe under water," Diggle said, "This doesn't mean she's alive."

"No, but it's enough hope that I had to call Oliver. I thought it would be best if he were here if she woke up. This has never been done before, and we don't know how she'll be. Who knows if she'll even know who she is?" Malcolm said.

"What the hell were you even thinking?" Diggle asked, placing his hands on his hips, "No matter what Thea's going through, Sara's life doesn't deserve to be played with like this." He pointed his finger in Merlyn's face, "You are _not_ God."

"In all fairness, John," Merlyn answered, "She didn't have a life to play with at all. You're right, I didn't know Sara; I did this for Thea. I did this because I wronged my daughter. I betrayed her and I want her trust back. So if I could turn back the clock… I needed to try."

"You're not reversing what you did, idiot." John snapped, "what if Sara wakes up and wants to kill Thea for what she did? What if she hates her? Thea can't take that right now! And Sara doesn't deserve this."

Oliver walked over to stand between the two of them, his arms out, holding them back from each other. "Let's all just calm down." He tried.

"She doesn't deserve to live?" Merlyn questioned.

"Not like this."

"We can help her." Malcolm answered simply.

"If she's even alive. You've got nothing to go on but 'healing lungs'. That's not evidence that she's coming back to life." Diggle said.

Felicity jumped back from the water at that moment, "No," she said, "But that is. Oh my god." Her back was to them, but she was standing a foot from the edge of the Pit with one hand over her mouth and the other pointing at Sara. Oliver ran over to her and wrapped his arm around her as he looked down at the water. Diggle and Malcolm rushed over and stood on either side of Oliver and Felicity. The four of them stared down into the water at a pair of familiar bright blue eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_Just wanted to thank everyone for commenting, it really inspires my writing when I get feedback! Like the little debate that sparked on last chapter about the appropriate use of "Ollie" as a nickname. I can't say I gave it too much thought, but thank you guys for sharing your opinions because it gave me the idea for the flashback at the beginning of this chapter! Please leave more. Please. Please? Ok._

* * *

Beware the Dog

 _"_ _Sara, come on! Get down from there!"_

 _"_ _Just one more second, Ollie. I'm almost there."_

 _"_ _No one's been up in that treehouse in years, you're going to get hurt!"_

 _Sara rolled her eyes. She was ten, and he was thirteen, but he thought he knew everything and she knew nothing. Quentin built his daughters that treehouse when they were only six and nine. The girls used to love going up there, and Laurel would always invite her friends along, much to Sara's dismay. The treehouse used to have steps screwed into the tree leading right into it, but those were gone now, so Sara was climbing._

 _"_ _Okay," Ollie said, "You reached it. Now will you please come down before your father blames me if you die?"_

 _Sara laughed, "Right." She was pulling herself through the hole in the floor of the treehouse. "Wow, Ollie, you have to see this stuff! I can't believe it is all still here." She waved a comic book out of the hole and Oliver raised his hands to catch it. This was one of his favorite editions of Superman, he couldn't believe that this was where it was. He spent weeks looking for it, and there may have even been a tear or two shed over its disappearance. "Mom's necklace that Laurel stole. The tin box that we locked all that candy in. Even my hair elastic. You know, it really wasn't fair, I was only six, I hardly had anything worth losing up here. I'm not too nostalgic for a pink hair tie."_

 _"_ _Great. So come down." He could hear the wood creaking beneath her feet above his head as she walked across the treehouse._

 _"_ _Don't be such a baby." She said, sticking her head out of the hole and dropping their mother's necklace down. "I'm sure she'll want that."_

 _Oliver stared up at the bottom of the treehouse as Sara disappeared inside again. He could hear the creaks and see the wood move where she stepped. She was nearing a discolored spot in the wood, and Oliver furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing why that plank was different than the others._

 _He didn't figure it out until it was too late. The discolored piece looked rotted, and Oliver was about to yell to Sara not to step on it, but she already had. She fell so quickly that he had to run. He saw her foot come through the board first, and he jumped towards her. She crashed through the floor with a loud crack as the wood broke, and Oliver caught her in the air. Their momentum caused them both to fall on the ground, Sara still in Oliver's grasp. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but she'd stopped screaming when she collided with Ollie._

 _"_ _Sara, we're fine." He let go of her and checked himself, brushing remnants of wood from his clothes. Nothing felt broken and he didn't see any blood. "Do you feel okay?"_

 _"_ _How did you do that!?" She bellowed, scrambling to her feet._

 _Oliver shrugged, "I knew you were about to step on that board. I was subconsciously prepared."_

 _The whole walk home, Sara was raving about how he'd saved her life, her eyes and arms animated as she retold the story, like he hadn't been there. He let her go on until they were outside her house. "Look, Sara, I need you to do me a big favor. If you can, then we'll call it even, okay?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, Ollie, anything." She said, her eyes still wide and lively._

 _"_ _Don't tell anyone what happened. My mother would kill me for taking you out there. And if she doesn't, your father would kill me for letting you go up to the treehouse."_

 _Sara looked bewildered, "What? My dad would hug you for saving me."_

 _"_ _I don't think he'll see it that way. He'll only remember that I'm older and I put you in danger. So just…our secret, all right?"_

 _"_ _Yeah." She answered, "Whatever you want, Ollie."_

Malcolm, Diggle, Felicity and Oliver were all leaned over the water of the Lazarus Pit. Sara's eyes were wide open and she looked scared. Like she could see through the water and it terrified her. "What does this mean?" Oliver asked, "Is she alive? Dead people don't open their eyes."

"Dead people don't breathe under water either," Felicity answered, "Actually, if we're going down that road, dead people don't regenerate their cells and heal themselves either. Dead people don't do anything, is my point, I guess."

"Can she…you know, see us?" Diggle asked.

Malcolm sighed, "There's no way of knowing. I have no idea what's going on inside that Pit. For all we know, this is just another illusion. I mean, the Lazarus Pit is unpredictable. It could have healed her lungs, her reflexes, maybe even her heart. But the brain is so much more complex, it won't be how it was, no matter what happens next. She may not be able to move, speak, or even think, depending on what parts of her brain have healed, if any."

"Are you saying you might have healed Sara just to be braindead?" Diggle accused.

Malcolm sighed, "It's possible. Anything's possible. I honestly didn't even believe that the water would heal her…condition when I dug her up."

They all sat over the Pit and waited longer. Sara didn't appear to be looking at any of them. Her chest was still moving as consistently as before. Felicity was fidgeting, getting anxious the more minutes that passed in that horrible silence.

She was about to ask how much longer they should leave her in there when Sara's hand moved under the water. The four of them exchanged glances. "Did you guys just see that?" Felicity asked rhetorically. She leaned closer to the water, trying to get a better view of her arm that had moved. The water was dark and distorted the shapes. "Maybe the water just moved." Felicity offered, more to herself again. She leaned closer. Her face was only inches from the water when Sara's eyes snapped up and met hers. The next thing any of them knew, Sara was flying from the water. It was like she'd been catapulted from the bottom of the Pit. Her hand was around Felicity's neck before her body was emerged.

Sara had Felicity pinned against the wall a few yards away before any of them could even react. Her breathing was erratic and her eyes were wild. Felicity grabbed at Sara's hands. "Sara, it's me." She wheezed through her obstructed windpipe. Felicity tried to look Sara in the eyes, but it was like she wasn't completely seeing everything. Her gaze was unfocused and Felicity couldn't help but think of the word _animalistic_. Her chest rose and fell with great effort.

"Sara," Oliver tried, approaching her with his hands in the air. Sara was soaking wet. The water was dripping off of her and onto Felicity, as well as a puddle on the floor. "We can help you. We just need you to calm down."

Sara's gaze lingered on Oliver, but no one else seemed to be familiar to her. "You know me. You remember me, don't you?" Oliver asked, coming closer. Sara watched his movements as if she were intrigued by them. She focused on his feet, his arms, his mouth; every movement he made, her eyes darted to watch. "I'm Oliver," he said, only a few feet away now. Felicity was turning white. "You're Sara Lance. Your sister Laurel and I are good friends. And so are we." He smiled. Oliver took another step, but Sara crouched, her grip still around Felicity's neck. "I won't hurt you," he pleaded, raising his hands again. Sara leaped towards him, and Oliver dodged her, moving quickly to pin her to the ground. She was on her stomach, Oliver on top of her, when he looked up at Felicity. "Are you okay?"

Felicity was holding her neck, "Yeah," she got out, "I think so." Diggle ran over to look at Felicity and Oliver nodded to Malcolm. Seconds later, a swarm of hooded men encircled Sara and Oliver. He got up slowly, keeping her wrists detained behind her back.

He allowed Malcolm's men to take Sara away, making a promise to her in his head that he would find her soon. He turned his focus to Felicity. "She's already bruising," Diggle said, "But her bones feel fine."

"Thank you, Dig." Oliver said, turning Felicity's face upward so he could see her throat. "Wow," he said, "her grip was tight."

"Tell me about it." Felicity snorted.

Diggle nodded, "Sara was strong, but add that to the adrenaline of being terrified and it could have been a lot worse. She held back."

"Because of you." Felicity said, pushing Oliver's hands away. "She recognized you. It's the only reason I'm not dead right now."

"We'll get her back. She just must be…very lost right now."

Felicity shook her head, "That wasn't _lost_ that I saw in her eyes Oliver. She looked like a hungry, imprisoned animal ready to attack. Her eyes were just…inhuman."

Oliver nodded, looking to Malcolm, "Don't you have anything to say?"

Malcolm shrugged, "I don't think we should tell Thea yet."

* * *

They put Sara in the same holding room that his friends had been in a few months prior. The one that he'd poisoned them in. It was a much different sight inside that room now though. Before, he'd seen several pairs of sad, betrayed eyes looking at him as he stood in that doorway. Now what he saw was Sara Lance, throwing herself into the door and screaming at the top of her lungs like a wild animal. Oliver couldn't shake that whole, animal in captivity scenario Felicity had suggested.

"Sara," he tried for the millionth time. She wasn't as responsive as she'd been before, which wasn't really saying much. But even the sight of Oliver wasn't turning any wheels for her. Oliver looked at the guard by the door. "Let me in." All Oliver could see were the man's eyes, but they bulged at his request. The guard gained his composure and unlocked the door. Oliver held the handle shut for a moment, until Sara stepped away from the door. She only stepped away to give herself a running start before she threw herself into it again, but he quickly took the opportunity to slip in and shut the door behind him.

Sara froze. Her eyes wide and scared, her blonde hair in her face. It reminded him of the look in her eyes when she'd fallen from the tree, like she was surprised to be alive. "Sara," He said. "Do you know what happened to you?" Oliver held up his hands, like he did before. Sara's head cocked to the side at the gesture. She raised her own hands, mimicking him.

Oliver slowly stepped closer until he could reach her, careful not to make sudden movements. She seemed to be more relaxed now, with less people in the room, he supposed. He put his left hand out toward her, and she copied him with her left hand. So, he rested his right hand on top of her left as they faced each other. She looked down at his hand in hers for a long moment. Then she looked back up at him with untrusting eyes. He smiled, "It's okay." He said soothingly.

Sara took his offered hand in both of hers. She raised it to her face, inspecting his palm and fingers before turning his hand over and running her fingers over his scarred knuckles. She put her hand next to his, as if to compare. His were significantly larger than hers, but she smiled up at him.

"Sara, do you remember me?" She ignored him and looked back down at their hands. He wasn't sure why she was so interested in them. "Sara, it's me, Oliver. Do you know what happened? Do you remember anything?"

Sara stayed quiet. Oliver wondered if she was traumatized, if she'd forgotten her whole life and only liked him upon her instincts. They'd known each other their whole lives, maybe her intuition knew him before her brain could.

"Your sister Laurel is going to be happy you're back." Oliver tried, "Do you remember Laurel?" Sara's eyebrows pushed together, but she still didn't say a word. "Sara," Oliver sighed, finally letting the panic in that he'd been holding at bay. He felt so desperate in that moment, and sighing her name felt like admitting it.

Sara's eyes inspected his face, and she looked worried too. It was like she could feel what he was feeling too, and just decided to feel it along with him. She placed her hand over her chest. "Sara."

"Oh, god," Oliver sighed again, smiling. She smiled back. "Sara, I'm so glad you're okay. What do you remember? I promise, I will help you in any and every way that I can. We all will. You're back, and that's all that matters, okay?"

Sara's eyebrows furrowed again. She looked up at him confused. But then a smile spread across her face, responding to his. "Sara." She said again, touching her chest with one finger before picking his hand back up to examine all over again.

"You don't understand a word that I'm saying, do you?"


	5. Chapter 5

Say Anything

Every day that passed, Sara got more and more of her humanity back. It started with her gestures. She seemed more aware of her body and the correct way of carrying herself. She sat and laid on her bed like a person, rather than sprawling herself wherever she landed. After the fiasco with Felicity, the only person that was allowed to see her was Oliver. He spent every day with her, trying to figure out how her brain was working. At first, she'd need a few hours to warm up to him every day. But then she began recognizing him upon his entrance, and she usually reacted like an excited child. She'd squeal and run to him, throwing herself onto him with all of her force and squeezing him like she hadn't seen him in years; when in reality he only ever left her alone long enough for her to sleep.

While she slept, he'd slip into his and Felicity's room. She'd be sleeping too; since Sara was quite the night owl. It usually wasn't until two or three in the morning that she'd fall asleep. He'd take a few minutes to write Felicity notes about his day, and he looked forward to seeing the ones she'd leave on the desk for him to read before bed. As Felicity had put it, it was like they were in a long distance relationship, just without the actual distance.

Sara had slowly gotten her speech back as well. It was as hard as teaching a new born, though. The process was faster, but after coming out of the Lazarus Pit, she couldn't say much more than her name; which apparently Oliver had taught her. A few days later, she could interact like a two year old would; short sentences and one word answers. She'd even talk to herself in a completely foreign language that was only hers. Over time, she began to sound more like herself. She began to interact like a normal adult, but it wasn't Sara. She was just the shell of a confused, depressed girl.

Oliver took the time to tell her stories about her life, and although she couldn't connect to the memories, it seemed to help her subconscious remember who she was. Eventually, she became Sara again, but she still didn't have the memories of who Sara was or what that truly meant. No amount of stories could help her remember what her life _felt_ like.

It took a month, but she finally accepted her situation. Now that she was civil, and less…violent, Oliver suggested that they each try to reach her. He tried to explain her progress, knowing that they still viewed her as the girl who'd flew out of The Pit and nearly killed Felicity. "She's her," he told Diggle, Felicity and Malcolm, "She's still as strong and as stubborn as she was before. Something's off, I won't lie, but she's…a _person_ again, for lack of a better word. "She's happier, she knows now that things won't get better until she tries. And the wants to try."

"I don't know if I can do this after what happened." Felicity said nervously, shaking her head and touching her neck where yellow bruises were still visible.

"You can," Oliver said, offering her a reassuring smile, "It's Sara. She's your friend. She may not remember that, but she's herself enough to know that she doesn't want to hurt you." Felicity bit her lip, not wanting to answer because she wasn't sure she believed that.

The only thing that any of them had talked to Oliver about over the past month was Sara, but then again, Felicity recognized that she'd hardly spoken to him since Sara attacked her. Felicity spent most of her days with Diggle, using her skills to try to find more information about The H.I.V.E. They had a big chart mapped out in his room. It was like solving a mystery; red string connecting victims who could have known each other. Pictures hung on the walls with giant question marks, checks or X's written over the people that she'd connected to The H.I.V.E., indicating those she couldn't locate, ones she could, and the ones who were dead. It was a good distraction; but talking to Oliver, talking to him about Sara, only reminded her that as each day passed, the less they talked about, or even to, each other.

Malcolm cleared his throat, "Why am I here? I barely knew Sara."

Oliver sighed, forcing himself away from Felicity, "You're our last ditch effort. If Felicity and Diggle can't get through to her and she still doesn't remember…I want you to go in and tell her about the night she died."

"What?" Malcolm shook his head, "No. Why would we _want_ to tell her that Thea killed her?" He questioned.

"Because it's the truth. I'm done lying. Sara's back from the dead and the last thing she deserves is lies. Besides, I'm picturing a much worse scenario if she wakes up one night and remembers what Thea did and decides to kill her. At least this way, she'll know and we can deal with her reaction. She can know who Thea is, who Laurel and her parents are, before she meets them. It'll make the reunions easier on her."

Malcolm sighed, "Fine. Let's just see how it goes."

Oliver nodded, turning back to Felicity and taking her hands in his, "I think you should go first."

Felicity laughed nervously, "Really? You don't think Dig should go first? You know, with the big muscles and tough face and…Grr?" She flexed as if she were Diggle, "I think his chances against her would be much better."

Oliver smiled at her softly, "It's not a fight. I wouldn't let you in there if I wasn't one hundred percent positive that you would be safe." He touched her face, "You'll be just fine." The problem was that Felicity wasn't sure that Oliver's confidence in Sara was clear. It seemed to be clouded by how much he _wanted_ her to be okay. Unfortunately she didn't have the same reservations.

Felicity opened the door to Sara's room with shaking hands. She smiled awkwardly at Sara as she sat on her bed, watching Felicity move. "Hi." Felicity offered, tapping the table by the door with one finger.

Sara sat up, her hair falling down her back, "Hello. You must be Felicity...pretty name."

Felicity hesitated, trying to connect this Sara to the old Sara but also the animalistic Sara. It all confused her and she just shook her head to clear it. "I am. Thank you. Um, it's nice to meet you? I don't mean meet, we've met before. You just…" she pursed her lips, "can't remember it."

Sara smiled patiently, "Yeah. I was told we knew each other pretty well, though."

"We did." Felicity said, coming closer. She sat down on the couch in the small sitting area. Sara followed and sat a cautious distance away from her. "But that was before you died. I mean, not _died_ , died. Well, I guess you _were_ dead. Not just fake dead, but real dead. But you're alive now, so…good for you." Felicity nodded. An awkward silence fell over the room. "I'm sorry," Felicity shook her head to clear it, "I can't say I've ever had a friend who came back from the dead."

Sara raised her shoulders, "I would say the same, but I guess I've been considered dead a few times in my life."

Felicity laughed "Good point." She said. Another awkward silence fell over the room.

"I remember doing that," Sara said gently, breaking it. She gestured to Felicity's bruises. "I'm sorry. I wasn't myself." She laughed, "I'm still not. But, when I did that to you…I couldn't tell up from down. All of your faces were blurry, and I felt like I'd been thrown into this unfamiliar place. I saw you as a threat, you were leaning close to me, and I reacted. I thought you were going to hurt me and I snapped."

"I understand. Well, I don't. Because, like I said, I've never known anyone who came back from the dead, so I can't really say that I understand what you're going through." She took a deep breath, trying to calm down and compose herself, "Anyway, Oliver was right when he told you that we were friends."

"Like, best friends?"

"Um, not exactly. We actually only knew each other because of Oliver. But you found me charming." She winked at Sara, who smiled back.

"Oliver told me that you two are dating and that I should be on my best behavior."

"Has he been telling you a lot about your past?"

"Just my family. He said that he dated my sister; told me all these stories of us growing up. He told me every detail about Laurel and my parents, but it didn't spark a damn thing. As far as I'm concerned, they're just people who I know a lot about because of how fond Oliver is of them."

"And what about Oliver? Nothing about him helped your memory?"

"I see flashes. Sometimes when he smiles, it's like my head just rips me into another time when I saw him like that. But as fast as it comes, it goes," she sighed. Felicity just nodded, unsure of what she was supposed to talk to Sara about. "Tell me about us." Sara offered, as if reading her mind.

"Um, okay, well, I was pretty jealous of you when we first met. It was more than your history with Oliver. You were this beautiful, strong, smart woman who blew into Starling and saved the day. I felt like I didn't even compare to your greatness."

"My history with Oliver?" Her eyebrows were furrowed and Felicity hadn't noticed that she got caught on that detail.

"Yeah," she said, treading lightly, "You used to date. He didn't tell you that?"

Sara chuckled, "Typical." She rolled her eyes. It had been occurring to Felicity that Sara and Oliver were reconnecting every day while she and Oliver were getting more distant. But the way that Sara spoke that one word, it was like Sara knew him better than she did. Just like he'd said at her grave a month ago. Was it just always going to be Sara? Was she just always going to understand Oliver, even when she barely knew him?

Sara picked up on the look on Felicity's face, "I'm sorry." She said, "I didn't mean anything catty by that. It's just, every time I ask about our relationship, his eyes get shifty and he mumbles and changes the subject. I'm not surprised that we dated, is all."

Felicity nodded, her lips pursed, "Of course."

"I got us off track and I apologize," she touched Felicity's hand. "We were talking about our friendship. Apparently we shared a pretty special bond that I'm supposed to hear about from you."

Felicity smiled, "How are you so calm?" she asked before she could stop herself.

Sara hesitated, glancing around the room in appreciation, "I wasn't. But I feel safe here. And despite what I just said, Oliver has been great about answering every question I have as honestly as he can. So, when he said that you wanted to talk, I was honored."

Felicity wanted to retort that she had no desire to come into this room, but she held her tongue. "Honored?"

"Yes. He speaks very highly of you." She answered and Felicity smiled, wondering what he'd said about her. "He told me all about the crime fighting and superhero stuff." Felicity's smile fell, so she was a great IT girl? That was all he had to say about her?

"Well, you were involved in that too." Felicity answered.

"The Black Canary." Sara said sarcastically, raising her hands to dramatize her words. She smiled, remembering the stories Oliver had told her and how crazy it all seemed.

"Just so you know," Felicity said, "None of that stuff is normal. Dressing up in costumes to save a city is _not_ normal behavior for most people."

Sara laughed, "You're cute. But I kind of put that together."

Felicity's smile spread across her face, forgetting all of her discomfort. "You really are still in there, aren't you?" she whispered.

Sara's eyes shifted and she smiled, "What'd I say?" She asked, crinkling her nose.

"You always used to respond to my babbling by telling me that I'm cute. It was definitely one of my favorite responses. Most people get annoyed, but you would always just let me ramble. I think you thought it was endearing."

Sara laughed, "I can already see why I liked you. You know, this helps me, too. Having people here who knew me before, to tell me things like that. I'm glad that I'm still me, whoever that is. Even if I can't see it."

Felicity smiled and put her hand over Sara's, "Well, anyway, I think I know what 'special bond' Oliver was referring to." Felicity hesitated for emphasis, "I took a bullet for you." She said confidently.

Sara's mouth dropped, "You _what_?"

Felicity lowered her shirt to expose the scar on her shoulder. She pointed to it, "It kind of only happened because I was jealous of you, but it definitely gave you a special place in my heart." As Felicity spoke, Sara looked down at the scar, her mind flashing like it had a couple of times with Oliver. She saw the pink scar, and her mind ripped her into a groggy scene where she looked at the same wound. But it was fresh, and she saw her hands in front of her, stitching the bullet wound with gloved hands.

* * *

Diggle was up, and he clutched the photo of his daughter in his hand as he walked down the hallway with Oliver. "You've been quiet," Oliver said. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"This is what I came here for." Diggle said simply before knocking on Sara's door. Felicity and Sara were laughing loudly on the couch, Felicity's head in Sara's lap. "Wait, so you're standing on an explosive, and Oliver literally swings from a tree to save you?" Sara choked out through her laughter.

"It was right out of _Tarzan_!" Felicity yelled, her voice barely audible through the tears and laughter.

Sara paused, her laughter stopping, "What's a Tarzan?" she asked and they shared a quiet look. The silence only lasted a moment before they both burst into laughter again.

Diggle stepped inside, "Sorry to interrupt the fun ladies, but I guess it's my turn." He looked at Oliver, who was smirking. It may have taken four weeks, but Sara was in better shape after a month than he thought she'd ever be again. She was happier than he'd seen her in _years_ , and he knew that Felicity had a lot to do with it. It was still a long road, but at least she was positive. Felicity stood up, wiping the tears from her face.

"She's all yours," she said, planting a kiss on Sara's cheek, "I'll be back soon," she waved. She patted Diggle on the arm as she passed him, closing the door behind her.

"I understand that you're Oliver's best friend and most trusted colleague." She offered.

Dig rolled his eyes, "Did he tell you to say that?"

"No," she answered, thinking that he was serious, "He just said it and I told you."

"Right. Well, Oliver and I aren't that close anymore. I'm just here to talk about you."

"We're friends too." Sara said.

Diggle smiled at her, "Yes. We are. I really admired you, your bravery and strength."

Sara pursed her lips, watching Diggle, "John, I've heard a lot about how strong and brave The Black Canary was. But, if I can be honest with you, the whole superhero thing sounds so ridiculous to me. I've had a better time connecting with Sara, who she was, rather than the vigilante who pranced around the town trying to save everyone until it got her killed."

John hesitated, realizing a downside to avoiding Oliver at all costs. He had no idea how much Sara knew and didn't know. He nodded anyway, "Okay, well then let's talk about Sara."

She nodded, "I'd like that."

"Well, she was brave and strong, too. And beautiful, and kind. She was so incredible, in fact," he said, showing her the picture, "that I named my own little girl after her."

Sara's eyes shot up to meet Diggle's, "You named your daughter after me? John, I don't even know what to say. She's beautiful." Sara took the photo to examine for a moment before looking back up at Dig, "Thank you." She whispered, her eyes wet with tears that she was holding back.

He laughed darkly, "It's strange…I've had a few dreams about having this conversation with you. They always went kind of like this." He looked her in the eyes, "You're the kind of person who deserves the honor, Sara. I know you're disconnected from the superhero stuff because it sounds so crazy, but it was a part of you. Putting on that costume and making the world a better place, it was as much of a part of you as your sense of humor or your love for your family."

Sara smiled, "But I don't remember those things."

Diggle patted her knee, "You will."

Sara nodded, "Tell me about your family. I want to hear about the cute little girl who stole my name and wears it better than I do."

Diggle laughed, "She definitely wears it well. It's odd, you know, sometimes I see bits of you in her. For a long time I thought for sure that you were in there; the way she looks at me when I tell her no…it's just like how you used to look at me when I'd try to tell you not to do something. Or when I tell her that she can't climb on chairs or jump on the couch because it's dangerous…I swear I see her roll her eyes at me."

Sara smiled wide, "And what about her mommy?"

"You didn't know her all that well, but she's a military woman. She would've done anything for you, for anyone that I love. She understands that my people are her people. And you were one of us. Lyla's heart is so big." Diggle shook his head at the memories of how Lyla's compassion had gotten them into some sticky situations in Iraq.

"It sounds like you two have had the adventure of a lifetime."

Diggle sat and talked to Sara for hours, telling her all about his life, his brother, Deadshot, Lyla, his daughter and everything in between. There were countless times that he wanted to stop, but Sara was so interested, so entranced to hear stories that didn't all revolve around her. When he'd finally run out of stories to tell, Sara smiled and thanked him. He laughed, "This isn't what I came in here for, you know, I was supposed to make you remember your own life."

Sara shrugged, "I think you helped me in a different way. So did Felicity."

* * *

Oliver entered the room now. "Did they help you remember?" he asked.

Sara shook her head, "No. But they helped me heal."

Oliver nodded, "We all really love you, Sara."

Sara's eyes narrowed, "Mhm, and how _much_ did you love me, _before_?" she asked, an accusing tone in her voice.

"What?"

"Felicity told me that we used to date. Spill. Tell me. Now." She waved her hands for him to sit. He did with a sigh.

"My past and yours are extremely connected Sara, and I'll tell you all about it someday if you don't remember on your own. I think we can go over that another day though, don't you?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You dated me _and_ my sister. At least explain that."

He sighed, "Some other time. I just came in to ask you if you wanted to speak to a man named Malcolm Merlyn. He's the current Ra's Al-Ghul who owns this place." He gestured around the room, "And he's also a man who knows about the night you died."

Sara's face turned white, and she didn't speak for a long time. Oliver knew what she was thinking. "Did he kill me?" She finally asked anxiously. Oliver had explained how she died, but he'd told her that they didn't know who killed her. He knew that Sara never really bought it, but he also knew that she was too afraid to push him on it.

Oliver hesitated, realizing that they'd been so worried about Thea that it hadn't even occurred to him that Malcolm was really the one to blame. He met her eyes evenly. "He used someone to get to you. Someone important. It's all really complicated, Sara." Oliver sighed, "But yes. He's responsible for your death."

"And now you're his buddy?" she accused, spitting the words right in his face, she said, "I thought you cared about me. And don't think it's lost on me that you lied. You said you didn't know who killed me."

"He is also is the reason you're alive again, Sara. He's the one who brought you back. Look, I told you that this is complicated, and it's messy and crazy, but Malcolm won't hurt you again. He can answer any questions you have. He wants to help."

Sara narrowed her eyes at Oliver, "I don't know how good my instincts were before I died, and I'm not even sure that I can trust them now. But I'm also not sure that you're as confident in Malcolm Merlyn as you keep saying."

"No," Oliver shook his head, "I don't trust him, but this isn't about trust."

Sara's eyes narrowed again. "My instincts also tell me that you've tried to tell yourself that before. Everything is about trust, Oliver. It is _always_ about trust. That's all I have right now."

* * *

Oliver slipped into his room silently, taking the time to close the door as quietly as he could. He sat down at the desk with a stifled sigh. He didn't have a note waiting for him, and although he got to talk to Felicity today more than he had in the past month, he was still disappointed that he wouldn't get to read her ramblings about her day. She wrote the letters exactly how she spoke, like she purposely didn't sensor her writing, she just wrote whatever came to mind and didn't bother thinking about it first.

Besides, they'd only had a moment today before Malcolm summoned him to his chambers so they could discuss how to deal with Thea finding out about Sara; which was still an enigma to him. He'd waited for Felicity outside Sara's door, catching her hand as she wiped away tears. He'd smiled down at her, "Have a good time with Sara?"

Felicity had nodded and said, "Yeah yeah, you were right, I was wrong." They stood in the hall and talked about Sara; how she was the same and how she was different, until a man appeared to take Oliver to Malcolm. He really hated that Malcolm could order someone to summon him.

As he sat at the desk, he picked up his note to her from this morning. It was unfolded, and his fingers ran over the page where's she'd kissed it with her red lip stick. He chuckled under his breath. After getting undressed down to his boxers, he spent a few minutes out on the balcony. The view always took his breath away, especially when he let his mind wander back to the night that he'd stood out there while Felicity was lying naked in the bed behind him. Tiredly, he turned for their bed. Felicity was facing towards him, and he sat down on the bed slowly and silently. He laid back with a deep breath and glanced at her. Expecting to see her sleeping peacefully, he was startled when her eyes met his.

Oliver's first thought was that Felicity looked a little sad. Her eyes were dark and tired; hazy as they bore into his. He laid his head down on his pillow and turned to face her. Without a word, he brushed her hair over her shoulder and ran his fingers down her arm, letting his hand rest on her hip, all the while holding her gaze. They watched each other for a few more moments, Oliver circling his thumb over the skin of her hip, until he finally broke the silence with a whisper, "Sara's going to talk to Malcolm tomorrow." Felicity's eyes stayed locked to his, but they narrowed and she looked like she was trying to read him.

Finally she turned onto her back, causing Oliver's hand on her hip to slip around her body and rest on her lower stomach. She sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "You know," she said, her voice a little shaky, "I was really hoping that the first thing you said wouldn't be about Sara."

Oliver hesitated, thrown off guard. He thought that he was giving good news, but she only seemed to feel worse than she did when he came in. "I thought you'd be happy. She's ready to hear about the night she died."

"I am. I'm happy… _for_ _Sara_. But I'm not _happy_. I just…I feel like I hardly see you anymore."

"Do you know what it'll mean once Sara talks to Malcolm? She'll know about Thea. She'll accept it. It'll be safe to take her back to Starling City. We can go home, and everything can go back to normal."

" _Normal_?" Felicity asked, her head whipping back to meet Oliver's gaze. "Oliver, you are so out of touch with reality! Do you even see what's happening to us? We write each other notes…and it's the most talking we do all day. I fall asleep without you; I wake up without you. I spend every day _without you_! While you spend all of your time with Sara."

"She just came back from the dead, Felicity." Oliver answered, removing his hand from her body, "I'm sorry if I haven't been paying enough attention to you, but Sara needs me, she needs _us_. I can't focus on you every hour of every day."

Felicity held his gaze for a long moment, angry tears springing into her eyes, "Have I ever done something to make you think that? Have I ever given you any reason to treat me like some needy, pathetically clingy girl that you can't get rid of?"

"That's not what I meant." He said coldly.

Felicity glanced away, "Actually, I think it is, Oliver. But, despite what you obviously think of me…I don't want to be with someone who can't be in a real relationship." She turned over, and at first he thought she was going to fall asleep like that, facing away from him. But then she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

Oliver leaned up on his elbow, "Where are you going?"

"Anywhere that's not here."

"Felicity," he sighed, "I've been wrapped up in everything going on with Sara, and maybe I let us slip through the cracks a little bit, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you. It doesn't mean that I don't care about you."

Felicity slipped her shoes on, "Three weeks and two days, Oliver," she said, wrapping her robe around herself and crossing her arms, "It's been three weeks and two days since the last time that you kissed me. Did you even know that? Because I've been counting the days and dreading this conversation, while you seem like you had no idea it was coming. This has nothing to do with me being too _clingy_." Tears were falling freely down her face now, and Oliver's heart shattered the tiniest bit every time her face contorted to hold her sobs back as she spoke, "I've spent the past _month_ watching you get farther and farther away and I've been _missing_ you! I held my tongue for a month for you, for Sara and all of this," she threw her arms up, "But I think you've been too distracted to even miss me back." She covered her mouth with her hand.

Oliver stood up and crossed the room to reach her. He wrapped his arms around her, "Felicity, I've missed you every day; thinking about how you're just in the next room, laughing and rambling to someone else about your day when it should be me. Every night I come in here and lie with you, and I'm so tired," he touched her face, and met her tear soaked eyes, "but I just lie there next to you and watch you sleep." His face reflected her pain. "I can't stand that you feel this way and that I caused it." He whispered, running his fingers through her hair.

Felicity let a sob escape, burying her face in his chest. She didn't want to be needy. She wanted to be strong enough to handle an ex-girlfriend coming back from the grave, but she finally realized the toll it had all been taking on her. Oliver held her tight for a while, and when she pulled back, he wrapped his fingers around her chin. His eyes desperate as he leaned his face towards hers. Felicity let him until his lips were only an inch away from touching hers. She jerked her head back slightly, out of his grip. "Three weeks…and now three days." She whispered. She shook her head, forcing herself out of his arms completely.

She left him standing there, like she'd done once before, with his hands still outstretched as if he were still holding her. But she was closing the door behind her.

She found her way to Diggle's room and knocked quietly. He opened it in a matter of seconds. "Felicity?" he asked, a note of panic in his voice as he looked at his crying friend.

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" she asked. Diggle immediately opened the door wider to let her inside. He got her a glass of water and sat beside her on the couch.

"This must be hard on you guys." He said as he rubbed her shoulder.

She nodded, "I thought I could handle it, Dig. I thought I was strong enough for all of this. But I'm just so... _confused_. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy that Sara's back. I think we were closer today than we ever were before...but I feel just the opposite when it comes to Oliver."

Diggle offered her a reassuring smile, "No one promised that this would be easy, Felicity. And for what it's worth, I think that you're a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for."


	6. Chapter 6

Say You Do

The next morning, Diggle knocked on Oliver's door. He swung it open quickly, his eyes hopeful. The hope quickly turned to disappointment, and then quickly to dispassion. "Diggle. What's up?" he asked.

Diggle rolled his eyes, "Don't try to act all calm and collected with me, man. I was up half the night listening to Felicity cry." Oliver's face fell a little bit at his words. "Fix it. You messed up, and now you've got the best girl you'll ever have in your life crying over you. I tried to tell her that you aren't worth her tears, but for some reason she thinks you are."

"Thank you for being there for her." Oliver answered, guarded.

"It should have been you." Diggle replied coldly.

Oliver hesitated, wondering how Diggle always managed to know what was best for he and Felicity. "Are we ever going to be okay again? Me and you?"

Diggle shook his head, "Not if you keep making her feel like that. She's too good for a guy that makes her feel so miserable."

Oliver nodded, "Dig, you know me." They shared a loaded look until Diggle finally nodded.

"Yeah, Oliver, I do. I know you. I know that you always mean well, you always mean to do the right thing, but somehow the people that you love are the ones who end up getting burned the worst. We're the ones with the worst scars. I don't trust you anymore…and I don't know if that will ever change. But I do know that Felicity trusts you. She trusted you enough to follow you to this corner of the world to bring your ex-girlfriend back from the dead. And I understand that there's no manual for how to go about all of this the right way. But you did it the wrong way, so fix it before it's too late. I mean it."

* * *

Despite Diggle's words, Oliver struggled to fix things with Felicity. He was far too stubborn to apologize, and she was still so hurt and angry that she could barely look at him. All he could do was rush Sara's process. He let Malcolm into her room, agreeing to stay while she spoke with him. "Hello Sara." Malcolm said, crossing his hands in front of him and staying by the door.

"The infamous Malcolm Merlyn. The great and powerful Ra's Al-Ghul." She outstretched her arms and her eyes narrowed a bit, "But I hear he can't even do his own killing." Her arms fell back to her sides.

Oliver cleared his throat, "Malcolm is a coward, but he'll tell you whatever you want to know, Sara."

Sara stood up and crossed the room to Malcolm. "You know, Mr. Merlyn, the interesting thing about coming back from the dead," she circled him like a shark, "is that I don't feel any of the pain or guilt that used to bury me. I think dying is punishment enough for my sins, don't you? But what justice have you gotten? You lose your wife and abandon your own son; you become one of the deadliest killers in the world. You nearly destroy an entire city; you get a daughter. You cause the death of your own son; yet somehow you survive. You kill the beloved Black Canary; you become Ra's Al-Ghul. How is that right? Where is your justice, Malcolm?" She stopped in front of him, leveling her face inches from his, her chin held high.

Oliver froze, stunned to see in her the bravery that he once admired. She knew that Malcolm killed her…and here she was, making vague threats and questioning his power. " _Ra's Al-Ghul_ ," she continued, "Such a powerful name for such a cowardly man." She murmured, her voice seductive and dark.

"Here's the thing though," she placed her fist over her heart, "The only darkness that I feel is tied to you. I feel free, I feel like I've been given a second chance. The only thing holding me back is the hatred that boils inside of me whenever I think about how I was _murdered_. I may not remember, but I think that you deserve the same fate that you gave me. I'll shoot arrows into your chest…and then I'll just throw you into the Pit in a few months. We can call it even?" Malcolm glanced away, but did not answer. Sara took a step away, smirking as she walked away.

"No," she continued, not turning around to face him, "From what I hear, no one that you love has ever loved you back. You lost your wife, your son, and now your daughter. All because of how selfish you are." She threw a look to Oliver, who was still frozen in his spot by the door, "Maybe your loneliness is your own personal hell." She turned now, her eyes piercing into Malcolm's "I guess I can leave you in it." she spoke through her teeth, her words ripping through the tension in the room.

The room fell silent, the tension so clear that no one moved. Oliver watched Sara while she and Malcolm stared at each other.

"Go home, Sara." Malcolm finally said. "Leave your hatred and darkness with me." He nodded, turning around and walking out. Sara and Oliver exchanged a look and then Oliver followed him, not knowing how to handle Sara at that moment.

Oliver grabbed Malcolm's arm in the hallway, "What are you doing? You didn't tell her anything."

"You heard her. All of her pain is connected to me. So take her home now, get her away from me." He gave Oliver a sympathetic look, "Apologize to Felicity and go back to your life."

"What about Thea?" Oliver asked.

Malcolm shrugged, "Thea will be fine. She's safe where she is."

If it hadn't been for his fight with Felicity, his desperation to get home and fix things with her, he would have argued. But he didn't.

* * *

The plane landed on the roof of Queen Consolidated, or Palmer Technologies; Oliver still couldn't call it that, the next night with Diggle, Sara, Felicity and Oliver inside. Felicity hadn't even looked at Oliver the whole way home. She sat beside Diggle and traded off between typing on her computer and talking in hushed tones to Diggle, and sleeping on his shoulder. Oliver tried his best to focus on Sara, to prepare her for seeing Laurel and Quentin again, but it was just killing him that he seemed to be the odd man out from his two best friends.

After landing, Diggle shook Oliver's hand before heading to his car, "You're running out of time, Oliver." He said simply. But that was all the advice that he would offer. He felt his heart pick up speed a bit. For someone who was used to life or death situations, he was surprised at how panicked he felt at the thought of Felicity walking away from him.

Diggle was taking Sara to spend the night at his place. The whole plan was only made so that Oliver could talk to Felicity, who apparently wasn't aware of that. Her eyes met Oliver's for the first time in what felt like too long, "Are you sure you don't want Sara with you?" she asked coldly.

Oliver shook his head, "Baby Sara should meet her." He wanted to mention that he'd thought this plan out thoroughly. Sara would be safe with John and Lyla. She'd see Laurel and Quentin tomorrow, and they'd take it from there. He also didn't mention that he wanted to talk, or that he loved her, or that he was sorry. He sighed, knowing that he'd say all of those things and mean them because tonight; tonight was all about Felicity. He let out a calming breath.

She crossed her arms and walked past him to the car without another word. Oliver got in the driver's side beside her, but her head was angled toward the window. He started the car with tight lips and white knuckles over the steering wheel, this was going to be much harder than he thought. He spent the whole ride home thinking of what to say to her, but they arrived at her apartment in silence.

She got out and went inside, leaving the doors open for him. Maybe that was a good sign? He heaved their bags onto his back and followed her. "Felicity?" he called as he dropped their bags by the door. He found her in the bedroom, sitting with her legs crossed on the middle of the bed. "I'm sorry." He said, pausing in the doorway, "I don't even know where to start with how sorry I am."

She watched him in silence as he crossed the room and sat down in the chair by the window, feeling a vacant moment of déjà vu. Over a month ago, he'd sat in this same chair and had an almost-fight with her. That one had ended with her on top of him, straddling him, kissing his neck and dragging her nails across his shoulders. He felt a chill run up his spine at the memory, shaking his head to clear it. He held his breath and hoped that this conversation would end in the same way.

"Maybe we need a break." She whispered, not meeting his eyes.

Oliver hesitated; he was expecting yelling, crying, maybe even a panda shoe thrown at his head…but not _that_. "No," he shook his head grimly, "Felicity, I'm in love with you. And I know you love me too. That's all that matters." He said ardently, trying to smile at her, but her eyes were empty as she stared at him. She wore a long sleeved shirt and leggings, her hair wildly and beautifully messy. "I don't need a break from you." He whispered, thinking that she'd never looked sadder or more stunning. There is no good reason that we shouldn't be together."

Felicity hesitated, part of her wanting to instantly agree and make-up with him like she'd done so many times before. When he spoke like that, it was easy to forgive and forget, even though she still had questions on the tip of her tongue that he would so cleverly avoid. She took a shallow breath, holding her ground, "You need to help Sara, and I can't sit around for another month waiting for you to be ready for this."

"I'm ready." Oliver insisted quickly, leaning forward in his chair and bringing his hands together. His eyes bore into hers. "I want this. I want _you_."

Felicity shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, "It's not right…right now." She closed her eyes and felt the room fill with silence.

When she opened her eyes again, they fell on Oliver, who was already watching her with a silent sadness, a pain in them that she'd never thought she'd cause him, "Do you remember the last time we were here?" he asked, his voice low, "You came over to me, and you sat on my lap, and we talked…" his lip turned slightly, "and it made everything better. I said that we should have all of our fights like that." He opened his arms up in invitation. Felicity just stared at him, wishing that the offer didn't make her heart feel weak and light. The longer she remained on the bed, the more he fought his own tears. After everything they'd been through, how could they break so easily?

Finally, Felicity stood up and slowly crossed the room. She climbed onto his lap and rested her legs on either side of him. She ran her fingers through his hair and he closed his eyes. Even with his eyes closed, she could see how much pain was inside of him, how tired he was. She knew that she hadn't made all of this any easier on him. "Maybe this would have worked out better if I'd just stayed here." She whispered.

He opened his eyes to look into hers, "I wanted you with _me_. I still do."

"No one could have predicted an ex-girlfriend being resurrected, Oliver. When we took off together, neither of us could have known what life was about to throw at us. It's no one's fault…but I think it'd be easier if we just…put this, _us_ , on pause for a while."

Oliver shook his head slightly, "I can't say that I agree with you, Felicity. I love you and I want to be with you. But I want you in my life even more…in whatever way that I can have you; so if you think that going back to being _friends_ " he struggled with that word, "…is the best thing, then I'll do it." He finished, not truly believing his own words. He didn't think he could ever see Felicity as his friend again; she'd become so much more. But he told her what she wanted to hear, needed to hear…rather than what he really wanted to say. What he wanted to do was beg her to leave with him again; to get in the car and just drive until they both felt happy and at peace. His heart ached for it, because it had worked once before. But he knew that he couldn't…and deep down, that she wouldn't.

Felicity shifted in his lap, her hands circling the back of his neck, "Oliver," she hesitated, resting her head to his and meeting his eyes, "In my mind, we were never just friends."

Oliver forced a smile, "No, we weren't, were we?"

She shook her head, "And I don't think the feelings that I have for you, that I've always had for you, will ever go away. It doesn't feel like they will, at least, and right now I kind of wish they would…" she exhaled a shaky breath, "because it hurts. But I _really_ love you, Oliver Queen," she nodded, her nose rubbing against his and her voice breaking, "and I'm not giving up on that." She finished, whispering to keep her voice from shaking.

With her forehead still resting on his, his hands on her waist and hers on his shoulders, he took a deep breath. "Three weeks and five days, now." He murmured. "I know I'm way too late…" she watched as he swallowed, his eyes falling to her lips, "but would you hate me…if I asked to kiss you?"

He saw a tear roll down her cheek and she closed her eyes, shaking her head slowly, her nose grazing his. Oliver slowly let his lips meet hers. He didn't move, just pressed them gently to her mouth. She froze too, fighting the urge to deepen the kiss. After a few moments, she pulled back and met his dark gaze. "I love you." She whispered, leaning forward to wrap her arms around his neck. Her grip was so tight, and his hands rubbed her back as she clung to him.

He closed his eyes, refusing to be the one to pull away. He would have been happy to sit there, just like that, for as long as humanly possible.

Oliver laid with Felicity until she fell asleep, with an agreement that he'd leave for Diggle's before the sun came up. He kept good on his word, and he was closing the door of her apartment and heading for his car just as the sun was rising.

* * *

When he got to Diggle's, he knocked lightly and waited until Sara opened the door. She pulled him inside, her face falling. "It didn't work?" she whispered. Oliver shook his head, running his hands over his scalp. Sara led him to the couch and gestured for him to sit. He shook his head again, sighing and sitting on the floor, resting his back against the couch. Sara laid down on the couch; her makeshift bed. She put her hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

He nodded, tipping his head back on the cushion and closing his eyes. He really didn't feel like talking. He hadn't realized how tired he was until Sara squeezed his shoulder. He sighed, letting himself drift to sleep. He wanted to sleep at Felicity's, but he wanted to watch her even more. He wasn't sure when or if he'd be able to watch her sleep again.

Oliver woke up to Diggle kicking his leg. He glanced up at Dig, who held baby Sara in his arms. He looked around the room and rubbed his eyes, seeing Sara asleep on the couch above him, her hand still on his shoulder. He stood up quickly, shaking his head, "That wasn't…I wasn't…Felicity broke up with me."

Diggle rolled his eyes, "Sara can't fix that."

"I wasn't trying to have her fix anything. I just came here to crash." They spoke in hushed voices, but the baby opened her eyes and saw Oliver. She immediately squealed, a high pitched shriek that woke up Sara, who shot up from the couch and leapt onto the coffee table, glancing around the room frantically. Everyone froze, including the baby. Sara took in her surroundings and slowly climbed off the table, her face turning red as they all stared at her with wide eyes. At the baby's sound, she'd seen a rooftop full of masked men; and her own hand tossing an object, that made a similar noise as baby Sara's, down at their feet.

The next thing she knew, she was looking down at a wide eyed Diggle and Oliver from the top of a coffee table. "Sorry," she mumbled, "I guess I've still got a little PTSD from the whole waking up under water thing." She lied, unwilling to tell Oliver about the flashes that she sometimes saw from her old life.

Diggle and Oliver both nodded and baby Sara laughed. "Okay," Oliver said, closing his hands together. "How should we do this? Should I tell detective Lance and Laurel everything that has happened before I introduce you?" He'd asked himself all of these questions in his head, but now that the time was here, he needed to voice them out loud. "Maybe I should just tell Quentin to call your mom and have her come to Starling?" He shook his head, "No, it'll be easier if they know first, make it less shocking."

Oliver pulled out his phone, taking a deep breath, "Right?" he asked, still unsure, meeting Diggle's eyes and then Sara's. They both shrugged him off. No help. Sara focused on the baby, smiling and taking her from Diggle's arms while Oliver figured out a plan. He took another breath and dialed Laurel's number. She answered on the second ring, "Where the hell have you been?" she clipped.

Oliver sighed, "I have something I need to talk to you about. Get your dad and meet me at Queen Consolidated in half an hour." Laurel argued for more information, but Oliver just rolled his eyes and repeated his instructions. After hanging up, he hurried Sara to get ready.

* * *

"Okay," he said in the car, "So I'll tell them everything while you stay out of sight, and then you'll come in."

Sara rolled her eyes, "Make it as dramatic as possible, Oliver."

Oliver glanced over at her in the passenger seat. Her arms were crossed and she tried to pretend that she was fine, but he could tell how scared and nervous she was. "It'll all be okay, Sara. Even if you don't remember them, they're going to love you. They're your family."

Laurel and Quentin were two of the most stubborn people that Oliver knew. He knew that having the conversation was going to be like pulling teeth. He had to remind himself to calm down when Quentin and Laurel showed up. Lance was quiet at first, but it became a whole different story when Oliver started to explain where he'd been and what had happened. He got two words out before Lance was in his face, demanding answers that he couldn't answer without further explanation.

"You're telling me that she's alive…again? Queen, I should kick your ass right here." Laurel just shook her head, crossing her arms like she was trying to block off any hope of Oliver's words being true.

Oliver leaned forward, forcing Laurel to look him in the eye, "Laurel, I would never toy with you like this. Sara's alive. Everything I told you is true. And…" he made eye contact with Quentin too, "when you guys are ready to see her, she's here."

Quentin looked at him cautiously. Oliver could tell that after the rollercoaster he'd been on when it came to Sara, he wouldn't accept that she was alive until he saw it for himself. Laurel seemed to be on the same page. "Now." Lance said, "I'm ready now."

Oliver stood up, hesitating before he opened the door, "Try not to forget that she doesn't remember anything, so just…go easy." He said quietly, not wanting Sara to hear. He opened the door and offered Sara a reassuring smile, gesturing for her to come inside. As she walked towards them, Laurel froze. Quentin's eyes watered and he covered his face with his hands. "Oh, god." He choked.

Sara paused, watching their reactions hesitantly. If she'd had any doubts that the people from the photos were her family, those reactions assured her. But she still didn't connect. She recognized them as her sister and father, but she didn't feel a connection to them the way that she knew she should. Lance pulled her toward him to hug her, and her arms hung at her sides.

Laurel was next, and she couldn't stop crying as she held her sister. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Yeah," Sara said, "But you've said that before, huh?" She tried to joke, make light of it in her uncomfortable vulnerability. Laurel and Quentin glanced at each other and Sara laughed awkwardly, "From what Oliver's told me, you took over as The Black Canary…so, obviously, you know, you weren't expecting me to be back." Laurel stared at her, and then at Oliver. Sara shook her head, "I'm sorry. I think I've been spending too much time with Felicity. It means a lot to me?"

Laurel blinked, "Sara, it's okay if you don't remember us. I'm just so happy to see you again." Laurel touched her hair, her face, running her hands down her arms until she held both of Sara's hands. Laurel smiled, "You're real. You're really here."


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you all for your kind reviews! It really means a lot to me:) I hope you enjoy this little post-break up, girl power chapter. The next one will be longer (and more Oliver filled) I swear! If you're on tumblr, follow me at smoaking-greenarrow (shameless plug) so we can talk about our Olicity feels. Hopefull I'll be able to post ficlets on the blog and take submission suggestions!_

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Ghost of a Good Thing

Another week passed, and Sara was no closer to remembering her life than she was in Nanda Parbat. She stayed with Laurel at her apartment; Quentin sleeping on an air mattress while Laurel slept on the couch. Sara felt smothered. Both of them would jump up every time she moved, they had a million questions that she either couldn't answer or didn't feel right answering. They'd ask her questions that she only knew the answers to because Oliver had told her; it didn't feel right talking about moments with them that she didn't really know anything about.

If Sara got up to get a glass of water during the night, they would both wake up and pepper her with endless questions about how she was feeling. Maybe if she remembered who Laurel was to her, she'd find it funny, or charming, or entertaining, but she didn't; and it was just annoying.

To add to her annoyance; she knew that they were keeping secrets from her. She felt it run through her when Laurel had been texting, and Sara asked who she was talking to; when Quentin and Laurel spoke in hushed voices in the kitchen, quickly changing the subject when they noticed her in the doorway. She didn't know what they were keeping from her, but if they weren't willing to tell her, Sara knew it had to be about her death. It was a touchy subject for Laurel; the night she died. Sara tried once to ask Laurel her side of what happened, but Laurel shut down, answering her questions with one word minimums and a blank stare.

She understood that Laurel had been the one to find her dead, but she wanted to hear about it. She wanted to know what the moment was like, what she looked like. Maybe it would help her remember, and she wouldn't have to rely on other people to tell her what happened to her. Or, in this case, _not_ tell her.

And now, Laurel was throwing Sara a girls' night. Since Felicity and Lyla were really the only girls that Sara liked, or even knew, they were the only ones invited. Laurel was trying so hard to connect to Sara again, but she realized that they'd never been the closest sisters in the first place. The girls' night was her newest idea at getting Sara to like her.

"Do you think she'd like red or white wine?" Laurel asked, tucking her phone between her chin and shoulder as she picked up the bottles in the grocery store.

Oliver sighed on the other line, "I don't know, Laurel. What did she like before? She's still Sara."

Laurel sighed too, "I know. But before she loved me because I was her sister…now, I just feel like she hates me."

"Your sister doesn't hate you, she's confused. Just give her some time, she'll get there."

Laurel hesitated, "Okay, but white or red?"

Oliver groaned, "I don't know, Laurel. Why don't you just go out? I'm sure Sara is sick of the apartment, and then she can order whatever the hell she wants."

Laurel placed the bottles back on the shelf, "That's brilliant, Ollie."

Oliver cleared his throat, "So, this girls' night…who will be there?"

"Girls." Laurel answered coolly, knowing what he was getting at.

Oliver huffed, "Come on, Laurel. I've done everything I can to help you with Sara,"

Laurel rolled her eyes, "Yes, Felicity's coming. No, I haven't talked to her about you. But I will break girl code, just once, for you, and tell you that…she seems sad, Oliver. I think she misses you."

Oliver sighed, "I miss her too."

"Maybe you should do something about that." Laurel answered.

"She doesn't want to be with me, Laurel."

Laurel pursed her lips, knowing that she shouldn't stick her nose too far into her ex-boyfriend's love life. Besides, he wouldn't believe anything that came from her, anyway. Felicity was the only one who could change his mind."I'll see if she wants to talk about it tonight, okay?" Oliver just grumbled an incoherent response and hung up the phone.

* * *

Sara was spending the afternoon at Diggle's, and Quentin was working for the night. Laurel didn't know what else to do with herself, so she cleaned the apartment from floor to ceiling. The girls were meeting here, and although they expected a girls' night in with wine, pizza and movies, Laurel liked Oliver's suggestion better. Going out to the bars seemed more like Sara's style, and the whole night was about Sara.

Felicity knocked on the door with a shaking hand. "Where's the wine?" she asked as soon as Laurel opened the door.

"Um, at the bar…that we're going to once Lyla and Sara get here."

"Bar?" Felicity asked. She thought about it for a moment and then shrugged, "I'm in."

"How are you?" Laurel asked.

Felicity closed the door, "You know, that's such a normal thing to ask someone. And you ask me every time I see you, but it seems like you mean to ask how I'm holding up post-Oliver, and I think you can relate to how that feels."

Laurel pursed her lips, glancing away. Felicity sighed, "Sorry, I guess I'm just a little freaked out about tonight. Four girls getting together. Three of them being Oliver's ex-girlfriends who may or may not still be in love with him. What ever will we talk about?"

Laurel laughed, raising her hands, "Hey, I'm not in love with him."

Felicity sighed, sitting at the dining room table. "Sure you are. I am." She said, resting her chin on her hands. "Sara probably is too. Hell, I bet even Lyla is a little bit in love with Oliver. Who wouldn't be?"

Laurel laughed again, "It really does feel that way doesn't it?" She hesitated when Felicity gave her a quizzical look. Laurel shrugged, "Being with Oliver…it seems like every other girl who knows him is in love with him. I felt that way when I met you."

Felicity sighed, knowing how that scenario had turned out. "You sure you don't have any wine?"

Laurel held up her finger and headed for the kitchen. She returned a moment later with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. "Well, we're not going to be DD's tonight." She said, pouring them each a glass. Felicity knocked hers back in three gulps. Laurel raised an eyebrow, but Felicity just pushed her glass back towards Laurel. "I need all the help I can get. Wine is a lovely supporter." She said.

Laurel could have warned her against the dangers of relying on alcohol, but she kind of thought that Felicity needed a night to get belligerently drunk and say what was on her mind. Forget the whole night being about Sara; Felicity deserved this too, after all the crap she'd put up with over the past four years. And Laurel didn't mind helping her unwind for a night.

Once Felicity emptied her second glass, she looked at Laurel, who still hadn't sipped her first. "Are you trying to stay sober?" she asked, "I mean, with the whole alcoholic thing? Not that you're an alcoholic. Or I guess you are. That just sounds mean to say. You used to be one, but not anymore. Right?"

Laurel laughed, "I can have a glass of wine occasionally. But I only let myself drink when I'm happy."

Felicity hesitated, "Are you happy?"

"I should be, right? My sister's back from the dead." She said, tipping her glass back to drink a generous sip of wine. "One night. I'll get drunk with my sister and my friends. After tonight, back to sober Laurel."

Felicity smiled, filling herself another glass and dancing in her seat. She lifted her cup and clinked it to Laurel's, "One night." She agreed. "I'm not much of a drinker, anyway. I'll join you in sobriety tomorrow."

Lyla and Sara were more than willing to go to the bar. Sara borrowed Laurel's clothes and used her straightener and make-up to get ready. Lyla insisted that she was fine in jeans and a t-shirt. Felicity wore a tight dress, Laurel in leggings and a crop top, and Sara in Laurel's skirt, shirt and heels. Lyla offered to be DD, promising to have just one shot with them because "GIRLS' NIGHT!" as Felicity had hollered in their faces when they arrived.

Sara burst out laughing, "Oh my god, Cookie, are you drunk already?" She'd given Felicity the nickname in Nanda Parbat, only using it when she found Felicity amusing. Sara insisted that it suited her perfectly because of how sweet and cute Felicity was, but also because it referenced her love of computers. Felicity wasn't the biggest fan of it, but she accepted it as a further bond with Sara.

"No. I'm tipsy. If you'd gotten here an hour ago like you were _supposed_ to, I only would've been buzzed!" she giggled, "but now," she sighed, draping her arm over Sara's shoulders, "I'm tipsy."

"Okay, Cookie, I think you should sit the first bar out."

Felicity shook her head, "No, no, no. I'm ready! Let's bar hop! GIRLS' NIGHT! Whoop, whoop!"

Sara laughed, pulling Felicity down the hall and into the car. "Lyla, are you sure you want to drive? We can just get a cab."

"No," Lyla said, climbing behind the wheel, "This will be fun. Most of the bars are walking distance anyway. I'll have a few and be sober by the end of the night to drive your drunk butts' home."

At the first bar, Felicity drank wine with Laurel while Sara danced on a table. Felicity was the drunkest by far, but even sober Sara was more daring and confident than her. Felicity sighed, "Do you ever wish you could be like that?" she asked Laurel, taking another drink.

Laurel shrugged, "If I forgot my whole life, I think it'd be easy to table dance without a care in the world."

Felicity kept watching Sara, "You're right."

Sara waved to Laurel and Felicity, reaching her fingers out to them. Felicity shook her head, but Laurel tipped back her wine and danced her way to her sister. Felicity sighed, crawling into Laurel's chair so that she was sitting next to Lyla, who was responsibly drinking water.

At bar number two, the Lance sisters caught up to Felicity. This bar had a band, and more people dancing. The four of them found their way to the dance floor, and Sara helped Felicity to loosen up. She placed her hands on Felicity's hips, pushing them to sway with the music for a moment before she shoved her backwards. Felicity fell into some big guy behind her who immediately grabbed at her hips. She shot Sara a glare, but Sara only winked and raised her arms above her head, spinning and dancing to the music.

At bar number three, Felicity finally admitted to being drunk. Sara and Laurel were too, and despite Lyla's earlier conviction, she was just as drunk. She'd promised to leave her car and call them a cab right before she knocked back a shot at bar four. By the sixth bar, the four of them had climbed onto the bar, creating their own dance space since the floor was so packed. The bar tender crossed his arms, shaking his head, "Ladies, this isn't _Coyote Ugly_ , get your asses off of my bar."

"What the hell is a coyote ugly!?" Sara hollered over the music. The girls giggled, but ignored the bartender all together, and the more that people cheered and bought them drinks, the less the bartender complained. "I gotta pee!" Felicity yelled over the music. She reached her hands down to a guy standing below, who eagerly helped her off of the bar. Felicity shoved him away once her feet were safely on the ground and bolted for the bathroom. While she peed, she took her shoes off, carrying them back out to the bar over her shoulder. She looked up at the bar, but her friends were no longer dancing on it. She glanced around the crowd, but the bar was packed. Her head was spinning, but she didn't see them anywhere. Felicity circled the whole bar, stumbling and bumping into everyone who stood in her path.

She found her way to the bar and got the bartender's attention. "Another tequila shot?" he asked.

"No." she shook her head, "Well, yes, but first I need my friends. Where did they go?" The man poured her shot and slid it across the wood top to her. Felicity drank it, her face twisting, she didn't like the taste of tequila, but she enjoyed the drunkenness that it caused.

"They went looking for you, lady!" he called over the music. "They just left."

Felicity sighed, saddened by the news, but not too worried thanks to the alcohol. She didn't bother putting her shoes back on as she stumbled out of bar number six. She tapped a woman on the shoulder who looked vaguely like Lyla in her drunken stupor. When the woman turned around, Felicity smiled, "I now realize that you are not Lyla. But you look just like her, do you know where she went? She's like…" Felicity leveled her hand with the woman's head, "this tall…and looks _just_ like you! She was with Laurel and Sara. They're probably going to bar 7, do you know where bar 7 is?"

The woman shook her head, turning back to her friends as they laughed at her. Felicity sighed, walking with her bare feet through the street. She went into the next bar she came across and looked for them, but she got distracted by a song that the band started playing. She made her way to the dance floor and swayed with the music, enjoying the feeling of not knowing anyone surrounding her or even where she was. She watched the lights blink over all of their faces. She felt a little lost, both physically and mentally, but she enjoyed the freeing feeling of not recognizing a single face in the crowd. Of being lost and unknown.

As she raised her arms above her head, moving her hips, she felt hands grab her waist from behind. She closed her eyes, leaning on the man's chest and imagining Oliver moving to the music behind her. She moved her body against his, and his hands quickly became more adventurous. He slid his fingers down her legs and to the bottom of her dress, forcefully hitching it up her thighs. Her reactions were too slow to stop him, but she lifted her head from his chest and tried to step away, to look at who he was.

He held her in place, forcing her hips to move with one hand as the other grazed her underwear. His mouth was at her ear, and she faintly felt terror rush through her. She could no longer pretend that this was Oliver, but she was too drunk to push him away. She shoved his hand away that was at her underwear, trying to sober up and get away from him. But everything was hazy. No one seemed to notice them; all those nameless faces blurred with the music that was too loud for anyone to hear her even if she screamed at the top of her lungs. The man's hands on her hips hurt, he was squeezing her so hard. Felicity felt her throat close up; her heartbeat finally taking off as her mind got on the same page as her body: she was in trouble.


	8. Chapter 8

_Guys, I feel like I need to make a small note regarding last chapter, based on a couple of comments: I'd like to point out that I do understand addiction and alcoholism. The conversation that Laurel and Felicity had last chapter was **on purpose**...I'm sorry if I caused you to be under the impression that I was just going to have her jump back into being sober in the morning like its no big deal...Anyway, I appreciate all of your feedback! Can't wait to hear what you think of chapter 8! :)_

* * *

Clean

Before she had a chance to figure out a plan, she felt a strong arm grip around her waist and pull her away, and she was swiftly pressed against a new body. She didn't know how it happened, but she was suddenly facing the man who'd just been dancing with her. She couldn't get a good look at his face though, because as soon as her eyes focused on him, he was knocked to the ground, a fist connecting with his face before he landed on his back.

Felicity struggled against the arm that was restraining her. She broke free and spun around, nearly tripping over the man on the ground. A pair of hands reached out and grasped her hips, steadying her. She looked up and met blue eyes that were all too familiar.

Oliver leaned forward, "Are you okay?" he asked, his face coming close to hers so that she could hear him over the music. Felicity just nodded. Oliver ran his fingers over her face, gently touching her hairline as he looked at her, fear in his eyes. His fingers fell over her arms and down her waist, not stopping until they reached the edge of her dress. He pulled her skirt back into place with murder in his eyes, throwing the look at the unconscious man behind Felicity. "I'm sorry." He said quickly and he took her hand, leading her through the crowd and out of the bar.

Once on the sidewalk, Felicity pulled her hand from Oliver's. "What are you sorry for?" she asked, crossing her arms so she wouldn't be tempted to touch him again.

He sighed, "That I couldn't kill that asshole, for one. And because that happened to you." His eyes darkened as he shot a glare at the door, like he wanted to go back in there, "I saw how scared you looked, and the next thing I know my fist is connecting with his face." He met Felicity's eyes, "But he deserved worse. Are you sure he didn't do anything? You're okay, he didn't hurt you?"

Felicity tried to focus on his words, but she blurted out the question that kept jumping into her thoughts, "What are you doing here?"

Oliver hesitated, wondering how intoxicated she was. "Sara and Laurel called me. Between all of the giggling, they asked if I'd seen you…said they lost you at Bar Six? I had no idea what that meant, and I got a little worried." He glanced down, "Where are your shoes?"

Felicity looked down at her bare feet, and then opened her palms, looking down at her empty hands and trying to remember. She giggled, "I have no idea."

"Where did you take them off?" He asked, doing his best to hide a smile.

Felicity shook her head, trying to remember, "The bathroom in bar 6, but I carried them to bar 7, I think. They must be in there somewhere." Oliver glanced from Felicity to the door, trying to decide if he should go look for them or forget about it. "Who cares!?" Felicity threw her arms up, "It's time for bar 8, I bet the girls are waiting for me there."

Oliver watched her sway when she should have been standing still, finally understanding the numbered bars thing. "You've been to seven bars tonight…and you lost the girls at bar six? And then your shoes at the seventh?" he asked.

Felicity rolled her eyes, "Lost is such a harsh word. We just got confused. It's fine, go home, Oliver, I'll find them." She answered, turning to walk away.

Oliver caught her shoulders and turned her back around, "Hell no. You're not going to walk around the streets barefoot looking for Sara. After the bar 7 fiasco, I'm staying with you. Where's your phone?"

Felicity pursed her lips, "Somewhere in bar 5."

Oliver fought a smile, "What have you been drinking?"

"Tequila mostly." She answered, giggling to herself, "I guess it's true what they say! Tequila does make her clothes fall off." She giggled again.

Oliver smirked, "Well, maybe we should get you home…" he tried, but Felicity shook her head vehemently.

"We made it to bar 6, four more to go."

"I found you in bar 7," Oliver answered, playing along with the game.

Felicity met his eyes, "I never got a drink at bar 7…we have to go back." She said earnestly, as if it was a life or death situation.

Oliver laughed, "Felicity, I just punched a guy in there, we can't go back."

She contemplated this for a moment, "Fine, I suppose knocking a jerk to the ground is a sufficient enough to substitute alcohol." She answered. Oliver shook his head, amused at her drunk reasoning, but _jerk_ wouldn't be his choice of word.

She stepped closer to him, resting her hands on his forearms, "Will you come with me to bar 8?" Her tone was so serious, like everything in her world depended on his answer.

Oliver looked down at her with a small smile, shaking his head slightly, a motion that Felicity was familiar with. She knew he could be persuaded, so she took another step forward and stepped her bare feet onto his boots. With her body pressed to his, she watched him hazily as he sighed, "Felicity…"

"Come with me." She said lazily. Oliver's eyes closed and he nodded. She squealed, jumping off his feet and throwing her arms up. Her landing was less than graceful, and Oliver had to steady her again.

"This is a bad idea." He mumbled as she dragged him by the hand down the street. "Felicity, you don't even have shoes on."

She spun around, "Oliver Queen, this is a mission. If we were trying to take out some big bad drug dealer or evil masked villain, you would _not_ be telling me to make time to find shoes. Get your head in this, Queen. Bar 8! Let's go!"

He smiled, "Fine, but at least let me give you a ride," he gestured for her to get on his back, "Hop on. I don't want to be responsible for any diseases that you contract from this street." Felicity rolled her eyes, but jumped onto his back anyway. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Wow," she said, "I kind of thought that your view couldn't be _that_ different from mine, but I feel like this is a totally different world."

Oliver snorted, "I think that has less to do with the height and more to do with how much you've had to drink, Felicity." She crinkled her nose, running it over his ear before resting her head on his back, letting her arms loosen. Oliver tightened his grip on her legs, afraid she'd fall off, "Which way to bar 8?" he asked quietly. Felicity just sighed, nuzzling her face into his back and letting her fingers skim the muscles on his chest. Oliver stopped, his heart picking up a bit, trying to convince himself that she was just drunk, not missing him.

"Around the corner." She answered, sighing contentedly, her hands tightening over his chest. Oliver took a deep breath, heading for a neon sign that he figured was the bar she was looking for. "Oliver," she murmured as he walked. "Thank you for what you did in there…with that guy."

"I'll always be there if you need me, Felicity." He said. Felicity closed her eyes, wishing the bar was thirty miles away instead of thirty yards. She wiggled against him, adjusting her position to rest her head on his shoulder again.

"I don't know if you really hear the words 'thank you' enough." She said, her hand sliding up to wrap around his shoulder. "I mean, you save people every day, but how many of them actually get to say that? I probably don't say it as much as I should, after everything you've done for me. Do you think I don't appreciate you? Because I do. It probably doesn't seem like that after the whole break-up thing…not that I broke up with you because I don't appreciate you." She sighed, "Sometimes _I_ can't even remember why I did that." She confessed. Oliver stopped, glad that they'd finally reached the bar.

"Okay," he said, "Here we are." He bent his knees so she was closer to the ground and guided her legs until her feet were safely on the ground.

When he turned to face her, her eyes were dazed, and he hoped that she'd forgotten his avoiding her questions, but she focused on his face, "Do you wish we were still together?" she asked.

Oliver hesitated, wondering if he should say what she wanted to hear or what was true. He'd lied and told her what she wanted to hear a week ago when they broke up, and they still weren't together. So he decided to go with honesty; "Every day." He said, pain in his voice that even in her drunken haze, Felicity recognized.

"Do you miss me?" she asked, stepping closer.

"Every day." He said again, his voice low. Felicity closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and another step towards him. It would've been so easy to reach out and touch her; to take her face between his hands and say everything he'd left unsaid. Oliver cleared his throat, "We should get inside."

He took her hand and led her into the bar. It wasn't hard to pick out Sara from the crowd. Laurel and Lyla were off to the side, talking to a couple of men sitting at the bar, but Sara stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by a group of guys as she laughed and joked. He could tell that all three of them were just as drunk as Felicity.

"Oliver!" Sara hollered from across the bar. She ran towards them and opened her arms when she got close. Wrapping them around his neck, she picked her legs up and wrapped them around his waist.

Oliver stood still, not even daring to hug her back despite the fact that she clung to him like a monkey on a tree. "Hi Sara," he said awkwardly, gently trying to remove her.

She pulled back enough to look him in the eyes, "I'm so glad you're here." She slurred, and Oliver could smell the alcohol on her breath. He glanced down at Felicity, who rolled her eyes and made her way towards Laurel and Lyla.

"Yeah," Oliver said, forcing Sara's legs off of him. Her arms followed shortly after, and he took a step backwards, "You called me because you lost Felicity."

"Oh yeah," Sara's eyes lit up, "Was she with you?"

Oliver shook his head, talking to Sara drunk was a lot less cute than talking to Felicity. "I came here and found her. Let's talk about it when you're sober." He said, walking towards the other girls.

"Uh-oh," Sara sang, "Looks like I'll be in trouble."

"Hey, Ollie, glad you found our girl." Laurel said as they reached the bar, patting Felicity's knee and resting her head on her shoulder.

Oliver tried to smile, "Weren't any of you planning on staying sober?" he asked.

Lyla's hand shot up into the air and her eyes widened. "Me!" She said, touching her finger to her nose, "That was me but I quit."

Oliver laughed, knowing that Lyla, of all people, deserved a night to get drunk. He couldn't blame her for that. His anger was more directed at the Lance sisters; especially the one who was supposed to be a recovered alcoholic. He planned on giving them both a lecture over _losing_ Felicity. How did they even manage to lose a person? And someone so precious, too. "Well Felicity says that this is bar 8 out of 10, and I fully intend on taking her home after that." He looked at all of them before setting his eyes on her, "No arguments."

Sara pouted, Laurel groaned and Lyla waved the bar tender over but Felicity stared at him, wondering how long they could be apart before those protective reprimands of his stopped making her heart race. "What about them?" Felicity asked, gesturing to her friends, challenging him. The girls all looked away uncomfortably.

"I'll call them a cab." Oliver answered shortly. The bartender nodded to Lyla and she ordered five tequila shots.

As the bar tender left to get their drinks, Felicity narrowed her eyes at Oliver, "You could just call me a cab, too."

Oliver sighed, "Felicity, please just cut me some slack. Let me take you home myself. Please."

Sara nodded to Lyla, pulling on her hand, "Let's dance." She said. Lyla jumped up and waved her hand to Laurel, who moaned and let her face fall onto her folded arms.

Felicity raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not letting him off the hook either in bringing her home or having an argument about it. "Why?" she asked, her voice clipped.

"Do you really have to hear me say it?" he asked, ignoring Laurel passed out at the bar. Felicity just shrugged, like it didn't matter either way.

Oliver met her gaze for a long moment, "I'm not calling you a cab." He said slowly, "I'm taking you home myself, Felicity," he continued, wondering if she'd remember this conversation, or any of the ones from tonight, for that matter, "Because I love you."

Her eyes softened a bit, looking a little relieved. Neither of them looked away until Sara ran between them, bee-lining for the tequila shots that were being placed on the bar. Felicity nudged Laurel, who picked her head up and licked her hand automatically before opening her eyes.

Felicity felt Oliver's intense gaze as she licked her own hand and spread salt over the wet spot, and then Laurel's. Each of the girls picked up their glasses, licked the salt, took the shot, and sucked their limes in unison. All of their faces twisted at the sour taste. He supposed after eight bars worth of shots, it wasn't hard to master the routine.

He watched as each of them pulled the limes from their mouths and made their own disgusted faces. "Ugh," Laurel said, "Is it just me, or is the alcohol tasting worse? Shouldn't it be getting better?" They laughed, and Lyla slid Oliver his glass. They all watched as he took it without a sound. Laurel sighed, resting her chin on her open palm, "That's not fair, he made it look easy."

Sara took Oliver's hands in his, moving their arms to the beat of the music playing. She smiled, "Come on, dance with me."

Oliver kept his feet firmly planted to the floor, "I don't think so." He answered.

Sara's face fell, "Party pooper! One dance. Consider it a 'my friend came back from the dead' celebration dance!"

Oliver hesitated, not knowing how to argue with that, but desperately wanting to. Sara tugged on his hands again and he followed, regretting it with each step towards the dance floor. The couples around them were all grinding to the music, but Sara just lifted Oliver's arm and spun herself beneath it. She rolled her eyes as she faced him again. Resting one of her hands in his, and the other on his shoulder, she swayed along, and he let her lead. She gestured at the people around them, "This song is hardly one to dance like _that_ to; is that what the kids are doing these days?"

Oliver chuckled, "Yeah, I guess so."

She squeezed his hand, "I'm not being a brat unintentionally, you know." Oliver's brow furrowed and she continued, "I may be drunk, but I love Felicity. And I love you, too. Whatever we were in the past, we're not anymore."

"So, what was the greeting about?" he asked, "Hugging me and completely ignoring Felicity?" He lifted their connected hands, "What's this dance all about?"

Sara lifted her hand from his shoulder to tap her temple, "Felicity looks a little jealous, wouldn't you agree?"

Oliver glanced at the bar and watched as Felicity downed another shot, glared at him, and then drank Laurel's too. "Oh god." He groaned, "How many has she had tonight?"

"If she's been keeping pace with me…" Sara hesitated, "Then we lost track at bar 5. But she was actually drunk before I got to Laurel's, so…"

Oliver chuckled as the song ended, "Thank you for the dance, Sara." He said, realizing that she was a better friend than he'd ever given her credit for, even if her idea of helping did just the opposite. Did 'it was the thought that counts' apply to this?

They made their way back to the bar and Sara pulled Lyla to the dance floor. After they left, Oliver sat beside Felicity, "What are you doing?" he asked. She sat with her chin resting on one arm, her other hand rolling a shot glass against the bar top.

She sighed, "Getting my drunk back."

Oliver smiled, "I didn't realize you'd lost it."

"Yeah," she raised an eyebrow, pushing her glasses up, "Shortly after we came in," she said, shooting Sara a look. But Sara was not concerned at all, still having the time of her life on the dancefloor with Lyla. Actually, Oliver realized, Sara was probably pretty proud of herself right now. Her plan seemed to be working.

"Are you upset about something?" he asked.

Felicity snorted, "What? No. What would I be upset about?"

"I don't know," Oliver shrugged, "You just seem a little…riled up."

Felicity picked her head up, "I am not riled up. You, Oliver Queen, don't rile me up anymore. You used to. Really well. No. Three, two, one," She closed her eyes, "Nothing about this night…riles me up at all, actually." She said, "And even if it did, who cares? We're not together. We broke up so that you could focus on Sara, and here she is, dancing with you and…climbing you." Felicity's eyes opened quickly, "God. Not in a dirty way. But I'm sure she wouldn't mind that either," Felicity said, raising her eyebrows and dropping the shot glass onto the bar with a clink.

Oliver bit his lip, knowing Sara was the wrong person to be making Felicity jealous. He never wanted to play games with Felicity. It was never even _his_ intention to make her jealous. "Do you remember what I said to you earlier?" he asked.

Felicity picked her head up and rested her chin on her fist, "Not exactly." She squinted.

"I told you that I love you." He said, watching her intently as her eyes opened and lazily met his.

She shook her head, "I need time," she said, pausing just long enough to see Oliver's head drop to stare at his feet. She took his chin in her hands and lifted his face, leaning on the bar so that her face was only a couple inches away from his, "I need time," she said again, not breaking eye contact, "But I _want_ to be the woman that you love." She finished. Oliver sighed, leaning slightly into her grip. She ran her hand down his neck and over his chest, watching it as she did so, picturing the countless times that she'd touched him freely, with no thought of when the last time would be the last time.

She knew when their last kiss was; their last _good_ kiss. One that wasn't tainted with goodbye. "Sara was still…in her bad phase, the last time that we really kissed." Oliver put his hand over hers and she drunkenly, slowly, lifted her eyes to meet his. If she could read him at all, then he wanted to kiss her as badly as she wanted to kiss him. "I was thinking about how I never expected that kiss to be the last kiss. Do you remember? We were in Nanda Parbat, and we were just…I remember thinking, having this feeling all day, that things were different. It was one of the last nights that we actually spent _together_ , together, and you were out on the balcony. I came out and asked if you were coming to bed. And you just nodded and kissed me. At first, I felt that fire inside my lungs that I usually feel when you kiss me like that. But then...then you pulled away. And I knew...I _knew_ that things were changing." she said, her eyes bore into his, making him regret taking that night and that kiss for granted. "Suddenly it wasn't fire, it was just a kiss…a goodnight kiss. And instead of telling you how afraid I was...I just turned around and went to bed."

"Felicity…" Oliver said, pain in his voice that was way too familiar to her.

"I think we can do better," she said quietly, "I think you and I deserve a better last kiss."

Oliver shook his head slightly, "It won't be our last kiss."

Her eyes grew hazy, "Right now, it seems like it was."

"When you're sober, if you want to kiss me…" It was his turn to look at her lips, "I'll be here, any time you want."

Felicity nodded, pulling away and righting herself into her own chair, all of her extremities to herself. "You're right." She said, glancing back at him, "But just in case I forget all of this, you should know…Drunk Felicity says a lot of the things that Sober Felicity won't tell you."

Oliver smiled, "Drunk Felicity has two more bars before she can go to bed and wake up to an angry, hung over, Sober Felicity."

Felicity perked up, shoving Laurel awake. "Two more Laurel. We can do this!" Laurel jumped up with makeup smudging her eyes and a mark on her face from the wood of the bar.

Felicity waved Lyla and Sara down, motioning out the door. Oliver followed silently as they left the bar. Once outside, Felicity outstretched her arms to him and he chuckled, tossing her easily over his shoulder. She wheezed, "Oh god, upside down…bad." He shifted her so that she was on his back, and she wrapped herself around him with a giggle, "better," she said. She brought her lips to his ear, "And thank you," she whispered, giggling again. Oliver smiled, shaking his head, the sound of her laughter was worth it.

Oliver carried her to bar 9, and then bar 10. The last two bars were over within a half hour, since Laurel puked outside bar 9, Sara's heel broke on the walk to bar 10, and Lyla lost her cell phone somewhere between bars 8 and 10; but no one had a clue as to where. The four of them groaned when their shots were placed in front of them at the 10th bar, their stomachs turning and none of them wanting to take it. "Okay," Felicity said, "We can do this. We're badass bitches who just drank tequila from nine other bars. One more shot and we're done." Her words were so slurred and the others were so drunk that no one was really pumped up by her pep talk.

Felicity knocked her shot back first, most of it spilling out of the sides and down her dress. She slammed the glass to the bar, "Why does this not feel like I thought it would?" she mumbled, falling back into her seat. Oliver leaned against the bar beside her, brushing her hair from her face.

"Because you didn't do one shot at each bar…I think that's how the game is supposed to go." The girls glanced at each other and then they all started laughing. Oliver shook his head, taking his own shot of the liquor. When their laughter faded, Sara, Lyla and Laurel downed theirs in unison. All of their heads fell to the bar and Oliver smirked, "There's a cab waiting for you outside. I already paid him and gave him each of your addresses."

Sara pulled Laurel off her stool, who grabbed Lyla's hand on the way down. The three of them used each other to stand up. Sara patted Oliver's face, "Thanks, Oliver, you're too sweet." She said before planting a kiss on his cheek and leading the other girls outside. Oliver watched through the window until he saw them leave in their cab. Then he turned to Felicity, who was staring out the window after her friends.

"Are you ready to get going?" he asked quietly.

She looked at him for a moment, and then reached forward and used her thumb to wipe the spot on his cheek that Sara had kissed, lipstick coming off and onto her finger. She wiped her thumb on her dress, her face twisting in disgust. "Yeah."

As he walked back to his car with Felicity on his back, he had to stop three times to let her vomit, hoping that it would sober her up. When they reached his car, he waited for Felicity to climb down, but she wasn't moving. "Felicity." He said. No answer. "Felicity?" He gently lowered her. Seeing her face, he realized that she'd fallen asleep. He sighed, adjusting her into his arms and placing her in the passenger seat.

When they reached her apartment, he carried her inside, laying her on her bed. He left a glass of water and two aspirin on the nightstand. Pushing her hair from her face, he kissed her forehead, "Goodnight, Felicity." He whispered. As he turned to leave, her fingers grasped his hand. He turned around, seeing that her eyes were still closed. But her fingers gripped his again, her nose scrunching in discomfort. "You okay?" he asked.

She shook her head, opening her eyes and finding his. She looked up into his eyes, tears forming in her own. "No. No, I'm not okay." She said quietly.

Oliver knelt down beside her bed, "What can I do? Do you feel sick?" he asked.

She shook her head again, coving her face with her free hand. "I miss you." She confessed from behind her hand. Her secret hung over them in silence, but Oliver could see that her breathing was getting uneven. _Oh, god, please no tears. I can't handle her tears_. Oliver leaned forward, running his hand over her hair and shushing her, trying to calm her down.

"Hey, hey," he said, kissing her fingers that were laced through his, "I'm right here."

She shook her head again, "I'm sorry, I'm being a terrible drunk right now. Tequila does bad things." She tried to laugh, her voice rugged.

Oliver chuckled, "Just close your eyes and try to sleep. I'll be right here until you do."

Felicity moved her hand away from her face so she could look at him, "The last time we made that deal…I woke up feeling really empty when you weren't here."

Oliver sighed, "Well...leaving felt the same way."

"So don't. Not until tomorrow, at least." She said, turning onto her side to face him.

Oliver pursed his lips, "I don't think Sober Felicity would appreciate Sober Oliver taking advantage of Drunk Felicity like that."

Felicity rolled her eyes, "Sober Felicity can kiss my ass. Stay with me."

Oliver closed his eyes, not knowing how he could resist that request. How he could have ever denied her of anything she asked, he had no idea. He nodded, "Okay." Felicity moved across the bed, leaving the space that she'd been lying in for him to join her. He hesitated, "I should at least take the couch."

Felicity shook her head, "That defeats the point. Stop arguing with me. Please, just…hold me."

 _Stay with me_. _Hold me_. Oliver couldn't see any other choice than to do what she asked. But it wasn't a hassle, since he wanted nothing more than to stay the night and hold her.


	9. Chapter 9

Hell on the Heart

Oliver woke up the next morning to a pounding on the door. He stuck his head under the pillow, throwing his other arm over Felicity. She groaned, "Why?"

He mumbled back, "Just ignore it. They'll go away," from under his pillow. But the knocking persisted. Oliver finally opened his eyes, pushing the pillow off of his face. Felicity's were still closed, but he knew she was awake. He didn't move as he stared at her, afraid of what would happen.

She groaned again, rolling over and snuggling closer to him, his arm still draped over her. With her face nestled to his bare chest, she ran her hand down his side and let it rest at the waist of his boxers. She was about to say something dirty about his lack of clothing, something teasing, but then she remembered. Her eyes flew open and she froze. The only thing breaking the silence was the continuous knocking. She could feel Oliver's heart beating fast under her palm, and hers matched it. With her head still hidden on his chest, she squeezed her eyes shut, both in embarrassment and because the light was _killing_ them. She pulled her head back slightly, looking up and meeting his eyes.

He just looked down at her with a bewildered, nervous look on his face. She slowly let her eyes wander down to her own body, a sigh of relief escaped her when she realized that she wore a large t-shirt. But then she realized that she wasn't sure how she got _into_ that t-shirt; _his_ t-shirt. She couldn't remember anything about last night past when she lost her friends. She remembered hopping off the bar, going to bathroom and taking her shoes off, coming out and having one more shot, intending to look for them. Apparently that shot had been one too many. The last thing she remembered was tipping the tequila back.

The knocking stopped suddenly, and Oliver opened his mouth to say something, but had no words. He had questions, but he didn't really know where to start.

"What happened last night? Why don't you have clothes on?" she asked. Remembering that they were still so entangled, she had to remind herself that that was a bad thing. She removed her hand from his hip. He pulled his arm away from her, too, and she rolled over and stood up. Her head and her body disagreeing. "Ow," she said. She looked at her nightstand and saw the pills and water. She sat back down and took them, swallowing the water in a few gulps. She hadn't heard him move, but Oliver came to stand in front of her.

"I'll get you some more water," he said, his clothes on now; jeans and a t-shirt. He took the glass from her and went into the kitchen. She looked around the room, nothing seemed out of place or different. So how the hell had Oliver ended up here for the night? They'd spent the past week avoiding each other the best that they could. They saw each other only twice, and it was at the Diggle's to discuss leads on The H.I.V.E. Beyond that, they didn't speak. And to Felicity's surprise and anguish, he seemed fine. She felt like she could barely hold it together long enough to get through the two times she'd seen him. And now suddenly she was waking up in his arms.

She glanced down at the bed and noticed black make-up smudged on her pillow. _Oh god_ , she thought. She couldn't contain the groan that escaped her lips, had she _cried_? In front of _him_? Suddenly she remembered it, him about to leave, her crying, him comforting, her crying more, admitting that she missed him...

He came back in and handed her the cup. Taking a sip, she watched him. He didn't look nearly as hungover as she felt. He sighed, "What do you remember?" he asked, taking a seat beside her on the bed. Felicity hesitated, glancing back to the spots that they had just been so blissfully asleep in. Part of her was aching to take it all back, to pretend she never woke up so she could still be lying there with him.

"I remember losing Lyla, Sara and Laurel at the sixth bar. We were dancing on top of the bar, and I had to pee. When I came back out, they were gone. I took a shot- bad idea- and I guess I went looking for them. The last thing I remember is finishing that tequila shot though."

"The girls went looking for you while you were in the bathroom. They thought you took off, so they left the bar. I got a voicemail at 1:00 AM asking if you were with me. They said they lost you at bar six and couldn't find you. I just, got a little nervous so I found my way to the bars to check it out."

Felicity nodded, "Bar 7. I remember now."

Oliver's eyes darkened slightly, "And you're sure he didn't do _anything_ …to hurt you?"

Felicity paused, needing a minute to piece together what happened _before_ Oliver showed up. A chill ran down her spine. She shook her head, taking another sip before answering so she could calm herself down at the way his voice sounded; so protective, nearly murderous. "I'm sure. He was grabby and I remember how scared I felt. But he didn't touch me. Well, he did, obviously. I just mean he didn't _touch_ me…touch me."

"Okay. Okay, good. I'm glad you're alright." He scratched at the back of his neck, "I guess I should get going...if there's nothing else I can do for you."

"Wait. I'm still a little groggy on um, I'm not exactly sure how we ended up…how you…I mean, after the crying, I asked you to…?"

He paused, looking at her face and remembering the sadness in her eyes just hours ago. "Yeah," he whispered, "You asked me to stay. So I stayed. Sorry about the clothes," he chuckled, "for a guy who has endured some pretty uncomfortable nights...I just could _not_ fall asleep with those jeans on." He said, knowing that he hadn't been able to fall asleep because of the beautiful girl who kept sighing blissfully and rubbing her nose into his neck all night.

She nodded, desperately needing to know just how badly she'd embarrassed herself but never wanting to hear it from _him_. She couldn't say that she was that surprised. After all of her emotions over the past week, if she was drunk and had Oliver in her apartment, she would probably do the same thing all over again.

Oliver let out a breath and glanced away, "You're not…" he met her eyes again, "You're not mad at me?" _Stay with me. Please, just…hold me._ He remembered how soft and pleading her voice had been, and how he'd found it impossible to say no when he should have.

Felicity shook her head slowly, "Why would I be?"

"Because you were drunk…and I shouldn't have…I mean, I didn't mean to…I would never do anything to take advantage of you, Felicity."

She smiled slightly, "I know. And that's why I'm not angry. I know that, Oliver. I can only imagine how pathetic I was, I can't blame you for having pity on me." She said, her face reddening.

Oliver shook his head, "There was nothing pathetic or pitiful about you, Felicity."

She snorted, looking away from him and out the window, "Sure."

He took her chin and turned her head to meet his gaze, "You were honest. And pretty adorable." His lip turned up in a half smile. "You were beautiful, Felicity. You always are."

Felicity swallowed, "I don't think that's accurate. After our first date, that explosion; the hair, the blood, the soot. That wasn't very beautiful. I'm sure that the barefoot, drunk mess you found last night wasn't very beautiful either. Or right now, actually, hungover with her make-up smudged face." He watched her as she spoke, her eyes dancing with each new scenario.

He shook his head slightly, dropping her chin, "I said _always_." He repeated.

Felicity met his gaze; that gaze that _always_ made her want to kiss him. When he looked at her like that, all she could think about doing was grabbing his face in her hands and pressing her mouth to his as urgently as she could. She'd had the privilege of doing exactly that. For a short time, she had the luxury of touching him and kissing him whenever she felt the desire to. But she'd given that pleasure up, so she turned her head away. "Thank you…for taking care of me."

He didn't answer, and they sat in silence for a moment before the knocking from a few minutes earlier resurfaced. Felicity groaned just as she'd done the first time, falling back onto her bed. "Ugh, if it's Sara, I might need you to shoot me in the leg with an arrow. I can't handle it today." At her own words, her eyebrows furrowed. She sat back up, looking at Oliver. "Wait. Why am I mad at Sara?"

Oliver's eyes flickered to the door and back to Felicity. He looked uncomfortable. Her eyes narrowed, an image of Sara wrapped around Oliver springing to her mind. "Oh god." She said, disgusted, her stomach turning with the desire to vomit.

"It was nothing. Whatever you think you're remembering…it was nothing."

Felicity hesitated, listening to the obnoxious knocking and realizing that maybe _she_ was wrong here, "You don't owe me an explanation, Oliver."

"I wouldn't, but there isn't even one to give. _Nothing happened_. We got to the bar and she…said hello. And then she dragged me out to dance, but it was just as friends. She was drunk, and I think she thought it might make you a little jealous. I think she was just trying to help me out."

"Mission accomplished." Felicity mumbled, eyes on her hands in her lap. She could remember watching them dance now. How Sara had completely ignored her when she walked in with Oliver. It hurt. She couldn't pretend it didn't.

"Felicity. She's not exactly aware of social norms. She thought she was helping us."

"Okay," Felicity said, her eyes burning into his, "I'm just going to skip over the fact that you're defending her right now and get to the fact that you tried to make me jealous…by using the girl that I broke up with you over, because I was so insecure and afraid that you loved her."

Oliver froze, finally hearing it all put into such honest words broke his heart. Of course it had nothing to do with Oliver's time or need to help Sara out. Felicity felt like second best because he'd given all of his attention to Sara. But it really had nothing to do with Sara. Last night had made it seem that way, but in reality, it was about Felicity. She'd needed assurance that he couldn't give though. He couldn't say that Sara wasn't important or that he'd stop spending time with her. "It's not like that." He said finally, "She only told me what she was trying to do when we were dancing. It was a stupid idea, and I'm sorry that it made you feel bad. I'm sorry if _I_ had a part in making you feel bad… _again_. But I don't love Sara."

The knocking became pounding again. Felicity shook her head at him, standing up to answer the door. Oliver was right on her heels, afraid that it would be Sara and afraid that she'd pull something like last night. He understood that her intentions were good, but he really didn't want to play games with Felicity like that. And now they were in one. He sighed as Felicity threw him one last dirty look over her shoulder before swinging the door open, " _What_?" She snapped.

Diggle carried two coffees in a tray. He cleared his throat, glancing from Oliver to Felicity. "Lyla sent me to check on you. Of course, she's too hungover to get out of bed, but she said that they lost you last night." He held out a coffee, "This is her apology."

Felicity took it hesitantly, "Dig, you guys didn't have to do that."

Diggle's eyes narrowed on Oliver, "Apparently not. What are you doing here?"

Oliver hesitated from his place behind Felicity. "Leaving. I was just leaving." He glanced around for his jacket, grabbing it from a stool by the counter.

"Actually," Diggle said before Oliver could leave, "I wanted to talk to you, too." He looked at Felicity again, "We got a hit on a H.I.V.E. member. Waller thinks he's still active."

Felicity raised her eyebrows, "That's great. What's her plan?"

Diggle looked down at his shoes before making eye contact with Oliver, "She thinks this one would be best suited for our team."

 _Our team?_ "Us?" Oliver asked, surprised. "But we're not even…we don't do that anymore."

"I know. She thinks that since Felicity and I have become the closest people to the case, that it'd be best if we handle it." Diggle said. Oliver's face fell a little as he realized that even when Diggle referred to the team that they used to be, he wasn't included. Oliver and Felicity shared a look, and then Felicity shrugged and gestured Diggle inside. He offered the second coffee to Oliver, who shook his head. "It's fine, man, I already had two today." Oliver took it, trying not to get his hopes up that coffee could be seen as a peace offering.

"So what is it, exactly, that we're handling?" Felicity asked, sitting down on the couch. Diggle sat down beside her and Oliver took the chair.

"They call him The Tomahawk; real name Wes Hollis. He's pretty infamous in Texas, where we think he's from. He always uses a tomahawk to the chest or head to kill his victims. He's got quite the record. Apparently the killings started in 2007 when he joined The H.I.V.E. But that's only when we found the connection. He could have been working with them long before that. It seems like he's like Deadshot though; already had his skill level when The H.I.V.E. found him. It's more likely that they sought out his talent and made him into a killer, or, a more lethal killer. There are murders fitting his M.O. since 1999."

"That's exactly like Deadshot." Oliver said, leaning forward, "So maybe The H.I.V.E. finds their killers based on their notoriety.

"And he's here, in Starling?" Felicity asked.

"Yes. He's already killed three, but Waller can't find a connection between the victims." Diggle paused, looking at Oliver hesitantly, "This is a recon mission, though. She doesn't want us to kill or arrest him. We just need to find out what he knows."

"How?" Felicity asked. "We've already figured out that The H.I.V.E. doesn't disclose their secrets to their killers. And even if they did, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would just give out that information. How are we going to get anything out of him if we can't lock him up and sick Oliver on him?"

Diggle cleared his throat, "That's where you come in. The only time The Tomahawk has ever let a victim go was for a pretty blonde. Waller thinks that it's…his weakness. She thinks we can use you."

"You want to use Felicity…as _bait_?" Oliver asked.

Felicity swallowed, "I'm not even a real blonde."

Diggle shook his head, "We're going to modify Waller's suggestion. There's a bar in The Glades that Hollis frequents. Felicity can safely distract him while we check his car, put a tracker on it. It could take ten minutes if we do it right."

Felicity nodded, looking at Oliver, "We have to. If Darhk is here, we have to. The Tomahawk is the only living lead we've gotten so far."

Oliver sighed, "Fine. But Sara's going too, to protect you. And you're going to be wired…and if anything goes even remotely wrong, we're done." He looked at Diggle, "She's out of there."

Dig nodded, "I couldn't agree more."

* * *

Felicity knocked on the apartment door three times before sighing, "Sara, I know you're home. Dig and Oliver are at the foundry, Lance is working and Lyla's at home with the baby. Where else would you be? Open up!" She called, still a little irritated about the games that Sara tried to play with her and Oliver. She tried the door, hesitating when it opened, "I wasn't expecting that." she said to herself before sticking her head in. She noticed Laurel sitting on the couch, facing away from her and looking out the window.

Laurel turned around when Felicity closed the door behind her, "I thought I locked that."

"Uh, no," she said, stepping closer and seeing that Laurel's face was wet with tears...and she had a big bottle of wine in her lap. "Laurel..." Felicity said.

Laurel rolled her eyes, turning away, "Don't start with me, Felicity."

Felicity rounded the couch so she was standing in front of Laurel. "What happened to going back to sobriety?"

Laurel scoffed, "I'm starting to think that's not really possible for me."

Felicity sat down on the table across from her, taking the bottle from Laurel's hand placing it on the table beside her. "What's wrong?" she asked. "I thought you were doing better now that Sara's back."

Laurel wiped at her tears, "I thought that Sara being back would fix me." her face fell, "I thought that having my sister back would solve my problem. But it hasn't changed anything. I think it's actually only made things worse." Laurel took a breath, looking down at her hands and playing with her fingers. "She...she lives in my apartment, she eats my food, wears my clothes, uses all of my stuff...she doesn't ask permission and she doesn't say 'thank you.'" Laurel looked back up at Felicity, "My sister always asked. She always said thank you. I just...can't shake this feeling that Sara's still gone. I've mourned her so many times in my life, it feels like I'm doing it all over again." She finished, her voice breaking and her eyes filling with tears.

Felicity took Laurel's hands in hers, "Laurel, I'm so sorry. This has been...weird, and hard, on all of us. I guess we're all just caught up in our own version of Sara drama. But you and me...we've always had each others' backs when it mattered. Last night was a bad idea. I should have noticed that weren't okay."

Felicity squeezed her hands but Laurel quickly pulled them away, laughing slightly. "I don't need your help, Felicity. I'm fine. I said I could handle this, and I can. Besides, I was the one encouraging _you_ to get drunk."

Felicity nodded slowly, "Yeah but I'm not the one...I just mean, we have our own battles, but drinking isn't one of mine." Felicity took a deep breath, "When Sara died...you turned all of the pain that you were feeling...into something strong. You fought your demons and you became a person that your sister would've been proud of. You did it once, Laurel. You can do it again."

Laurel frowned, glancing away, "What if I can't?"

"You can." she nodded, feeling both proud of Laurel and disappointed in herself. "Look, Dig, Oliver and I have this recon mission tonight. Waller found a H.I.V.E. member and we're going to check it out. It's at this..." Felicity hesitated, "A bar. God. I'm so dumb." She rested her forehead to her fist.

Laurel smiled slightly, "It's okay. Maybe a little superhero work is just what I need."

Felicity smiled too, "Well, I'm supposed to...seduce him, or distract him...or something." Felicity frowned in disgust. "But I could really use The Black Canary to have my back."

Laurel's smile was fake, "And that's why you came here looking for Sara." Felicity paused, her mouth opening but nothing coming out. It seemed like when it came to Laurel, lately she'd been trying so hard to help that she'd only been doing the opposite. "It's okay," Laurel said softly, "Of course I'll still help you."

Apparently helping included dressing Felicity, since Laurel spent an hour finding the perfect outfit. "Yes." she said finally, smiling at Felicity. Felicity wanted to argue, but after their heavy conversation and the fact that Laurel was feeling left out; a feeling that Felicity understood, she didn't bother objecting.

* * *

Felicity followed Laurel down the stairs of the foundry; Diggle and Oliver glanced up as they entered. Oliver stood up as soon as he saw Felicity, placing his hands on his hips. "No way." he said, directing it at Laurel, knowing it was her doing.

Laurel rolled her eyes, "If she's going to The Beer Barrel, this is what the girls there wear."

"Where did you even find that getup?" Diggle asked, trying not to laugh at the cowgirl boots on Felicity's feet.

Laurel shrugged, "It was a Halloween costume."

Felicity groaned, "I'm wearing a _Halloween costume_?"

Diggle chuckled, "Hollis does like his girls country." Felicity smacked at his arm, and he jumped away from her, still laughing.

"This isn't funny." Felicity chastised him.

Laurel pursed her lips, fighting her own smile. Oliver glanced at her, "If you're going in there too, why aren't you dressed like that?" Laurel smiled, grateful that she wasn't immediately being peppered with questions about Sara.

Felicity pointed to Oliver, and then to Laurel, her eyes wide, "Yes. That's a very good point. Where's your costume?"

Laurel held her hands up, "I'm not the one trying to seduce a southern psycho."

Felicity walked with heavy feet up the stairs and into the parking lot, mumbling to herself the whole time. She continued her ranting all the way to the bar. And when they got there, the girls got out. Laurel rounded the van to lean at Diggle's window and Felicity did the same at Oliver's. "Okay. So she'll go in first. And I'll follow after. You guys check the car. If anything goes wrong, I will gladly introduce his face to my fists." Felicity shot her a smile and Laurel raised an eyebrow, "Giddy up, cowgirl."

Felicity's smile fell and she groaned, turning and crossing the street. When she reached the door, she looked back over her shoulder one more time and Oliver nodded in encouragement. With a deep breath, she entered the bar.

"Felicity?" Diggle asked in her ear.

"Yeah." She answered, looking around the bar. Laurel had said that the girls at The Beer Barrel dressed like Felicity's outfit and to her amusement and horror, most of the girls in the bar _were_ dressed similarly to her. "How am I supposed to get this guy's attention when every other girl is dressed just like me?"

"Your clothes aren't what make you endearing, Felicity. Just say hello." Oliver murmured.

She sighed, glancing around the room until her eyes fell on him. He was a good looking guy; sitting at the bar with a cowboy hat on and sipping a brown liquor. She approached the bar, stopping a few seats away from him. She ordered bourbon, since Laurel had mentioned that this place had the best in town. He glanced her way, and she fought to keep her heart from freaking out. Her skin began to crawl when she felt his gaze fall from her face and down her body. Okay, she _really_ hated this outfit. "Felicity, we found his car. Hang in there." Diggle said.

Felicity could still feel Hollis' eyes on her ass, so she glanced at him, "Something to say, Mr…?" she trailed, her southern accent impressing her friends outside.

The Tomahawk smirked up at her, "Hollis. Wes Hollis."

Felicity smiled, flirting, she held out her hand, "Stacy Greene." Hollis shook her hand, and Felicity noticed a tattoo of a tomahawk on his wrist. Her stomach turned, "Nice to meet you. I don't usually see such good lookin' guys in this place. But you don't look like you're from around here."

"Texas." He said, his eyes unapologetically roaming her body. "What about you? I haven't heard an accent like yours since before I arrived in this dump city."

"Mississippi. Born and raised in a tiny town just a hair outside of Jackson. I moved here a couple years ago with my sister. How'd you wind up in Starling?" She asked.

Hollis smirked, "Work." He took another drink. "You wanna get out of here?" he asked suddenly, his eyes landing dead on hers.

She felt a panic rush through her and heard Oliver sigh from the other line, "He has some kind of address book, Felicity. We're getting pictures so we don't have to take it. Stall him, please."

Felicity laughed, trying to get her composure back. She sat down in the chair beside Wes, "I usually like a guy to buy me a drink first."

Hollis smirked again, gesturing to the drink in front of her, "You already got one." Felicity looked around and saw Laurel across the bar, sitting on a stool beside a man. Laurel nodded once, and Felicity took a deep breath.

"Oh," she said, looking back at him, "well, how 'bout one more?"

He shrugged, holding two fingers up to the bartender. Felicity smiled at him, "So what do you do for work?"

"Corporate stuff. I'm mostly just an office clerk." He smiled at his own lie, thinking that he was fooling her.

Felicity nodded as their drinks were placed in front of them. "I like that tattoo. Any story?" She offered, taking a sip of the bourbon and trying not to gag. By _best_ , she realized that Laurel meant _strongest_.

"You first." He answered.

Felicity hesitated, taking another sip while she tried to think of something, wishing that she could've found a way to be helpful from behind a computer. She didn't have any tattoos to show. "I have one," she answered anyway, "But you'll have to wait until later to see it."

Wes chuckled darkly, and Felicity heard Oliver growl in her ear. "Well," Hollis answered, "That sounds like a deal. My daddy loved throwin' tomahawks when I was growin' up. I got it in his honor."

"That's nice." Felicity smiled, "Do you throw, too?"

Hollis nodded slowly, "Every now and then." He finished his drink, tossing a few bills onto the counter. "Let's go." He demanded.

Felicity stuttered, "Oh, I haven't finished mine yet."

"So finish it." He said coolly.

Felicity laughed, her heart picking up, her mind going blank. "Felicity, one more minute." Oliver mumbled in her ear, "We're almost done."

"Sure." She turned to Hollis, "Just let me run to the little girl's room first." She touched his arm and stood up. She gave Laurel a look as she passed her on her way to the bathroom. "Oh my god," she said frantically, holding the piece in her ear, "What am I supposed to do? How the hell do I get out of this?"

"We just need a couple more minutes." Oliver answered.

"That's great Oliver, but how do I get out of _going home_ with him!?" she hissed. "He's a...a prick. An ungentlemanly _prick_." she fumed.

"Felicity," he answered, "Just stall him for a few more minutes."

Laurel came into the bathroom, "I have a plan." she said.

Felicity's eyes were wide, "What is it?"

"Just go back out there." she said, pushing Felicity to the door and shoving her out.

She sighed, exasperated, and headed for the bar again. As she approached, she rested her hand on Hollis' back. "Okay," she said, "Let's go, I guess."

Hollis put his arm over her shoulders, making Felicity cringe, and downed his latest drink. As he guided her to the door, Felicity saw Laurel standing there. "Hey, Stacy." Laurel drawled in her own southern accent. "I've been lookin' for you everywhere. I thought you said to meet you at the bar on Center Street, not this one." Laurel rolled her eyes, tapping her palm to her head, "Silly me."

"Is this your sister?" Hollis asked.

"Sister?" Felicity said, confused before she remembered her own lie; that she'd moved to Starling with her sister. "Right, yes. This is...Lacy. My sister."

"Stacy and Lacy..." Hollis trailed off.

Laurel's eyes widened at Felicity in warning. Felicity laughed, "Yep...I thought you bailed on me Lace!" She said, "I just met Wes, we were about to leave."

"Oh," Laurel sighed, pouting, "Bobby stood me up again. I was really hoping to get a drink with my sister." She gave Felicity wide, puppy dog eyes.

Felicity nodded, "Oh. Well, of course." She looked at Hollis, "I'm sorry...sugar, it looks like my sister needs me tonight."

Hollis smirked, "Maybe we could all get that drink. And then I'll make you _and_ your sister's night better."

Laurel scoffed, "No thanks." She looped her arm through Felicity's. "That's a kind offer, but Stacy and Lacy aren't into that kind of thing..." Laurel tugged on Felicity's arm, pulling her away from him. "Sister bondin' and all that." Laurel rolled her eyes, smiling at Hollis. "Maybe we'll see you 'round here some other time."

Hollis shrugged, not putting up any kind of argument as he turned his attention to a busty blonde leaning over the bar. As he approached her, Laurel tugged on Felicity, "Come on," she laughed, "let's get out while we can."

When they got outside, Felicity high fived Laurel, "Good job, Lacy."

Laurel laughed, "You did pretty good in there, yourself, Stacy."

Felicity smiled, "What'd you find?" she asked into her earpiece as they walked to the car.

Oliver was leaning against the van while Diggle uploaded the photos to a computer. The girls were standing in front of them as Oliver answered,"We think the address book is a catalog of his victims, but we'll have to wait and see."

"Did you put the tracker on his car?"

Oliver nodded, "I doubt he'll lead us to Darhk though. He probably gets the names electronically and has never even seen Darhk in person."

Felicity sighed, rounding the van, "That's so frustrating."

Once they were back at the foundry, Felicity changed her clothes and sat at her computers. It'd been a while since she sat in that chair and looked at those screens. She turned around in her chair and watched Diggle and Oliver as they leaned against the table, discussing how to handle The Tomahawk. Oliver wants to at least question him, Diggle doesn't see the point. Laurel just stood with her arms crossed, listening. Felicity leaned her chin on her hand, "When you two are done arguing, can I have the address book?"

Diggle glanced at her, "Waller wanted anything we found brought straight to her."

Felicity narrowed her eyes, "I just got hit on by an extremely rude and crass serial killer. Give me the book, John."

Diggle shrugged, not needing much convincing to defy Waller. He handed it to her, and Felicity swiveled back to her computer, glancing from the book to her screen, typing quickly. Diggle sighed, "Okay, well I guess I'll head out. Lyla said Sara and Sara are extending her hangover headache." He rolled his eyes. "Come on," he clasped his hand over Laurel's shoulder, "I'll drop you and Sara back at your place." Laurel's eyes slid to Felicity, who offered her a reassuring smile, mouthing, _'It'll be okay.'_

After they were gone, Felicity continued to type, not looking up from her computer, "You can go, too, Oliver. I'm good here."

"I thought I could bring you home." He answered.

She shook her head, "My car is here." She glanced up at him now, "I'm fine, Oliver, really." She promised before looking back at the screen.

"You don't need any help?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I'm just going to see what I can find out about the addresses and names in this book. Maybe we'll get lucky and one of them will lead us to Darhk."

"Okay," he breathed, nodding. "Call me if you need me." He said, but Felicity was still focused on the computer and she didn't reply. He walked slowly to the stairs, and then paused with his hand on the railing, remembering how she'd been when she was drunk. The walls were down at the time, but they were definitely up now. He sighed, "Felicity," The typing stopped and she looked up at him. "I miss you." He said with a small smile before climbing the stairs and leaving without another word. Felicity's fingers still lingered over the keyboard after the sound of his motorcycle disappeared.


	10. Chapter 10

_Someone asked if I broke Oliver and Felicity up because I didn't want to write sexy scenes...so I'm just going to warn everyone that this is an M rated chapter, just to be safe. If that bothers you, scroll through the italicized part! Shield your eyes. Tell on me to your mom. Curse me out in PM. It's fine, I had fun. 3...2...1..._

* * *

All Too Well

 _Oliver pulled up to the first motel he'd seen in hours. It was 3:00 in the morning, and Felicity had been asleep since 11:00. He sighed, turning off the engine and leaning over to touch her shoulder. "Hey," he whispered._

 _She inhaled sharply and turned to him, not opening her eyes, "Head hurts. Are we there yet?" she asked._

 _He smiled, smoothing her hair with his fingers, "We're at a motel just outside of Los Angeles. I had to pull over. I need sleep."_

 _She reached over with a sigh, running her hand through his hair, resting it over his ear, "I was having a dream that we were on some remote tropical island, drinking rum on a beach." She hesitated, a smile playing across her sleepy face, "Naked."_

 _He smiled again, "That sounds like a good dream." He whispered._

 _She quirked her eyebrow, her eyes opening and meeting his. "Well, naked you, so…"_

 _Oliver laughed, "Come on, let's get inside."_

 _She stretched her arms, reaching for the handle and stepping out. She glanced around, noticing that the motel was across the street from a cliff with a beautiful view of Los Angeles. She lifted her arms above her head, yawning with a sound that resembled a kitten. Oliver watched her, realizing that he'd never seen her like this, tired and groggy and…so at ease. He rounded the car and pulled her to him, sighing. She buried her face in his chest, taking in his scent._

 _He kissed her head, "Thank you for coming with me."_

 _"_ _You want to hear something strange?" she asked quietly, "_ I'm happy _." Oliver leaned down and kissed her slowly, softly. But after the dream she'd had…Oliver all naked and wet on a beach, Felicity felt the sweetness of his kiss turn to a surge of desire on her part. She reached up to knot her fingers in his hair, opening her mouth and sliding her tongue over his bottom lip. Oliver took a deep breath in, his hands tightening on her hips. Felicity smiled against his lips, running her hands down his body until they fell on his waist. She hooked her fingers into his belt loops and used them to pull herself closer to him._

 _Felicity took his lower lip between her teeth for a moment, a rush of arousal spreading over her body when he moaned in response to it. She pressed her lips to his once more, chastely. "We should get that room." She murmured._

 _Oliver raised an eyebrow. "I thought you had a headache." He replied._

 _She smirked, "I thought you were tired."_

 _Oliver grinned back, "Not anymore." He threw his arm over her shoulders and she locked her fingers with his. "I love you, you know." He murmured before kissing her head. "And I'm going to make you so happy."_

 _Felicity glanced up at him, seeing in his eyes that just the thought of making her happy pleased him. She smiled up at him, "You already have." She squeezed his middle where her arm was wrapped around his back, "And I love you, too."_

 _As they reached the desk, a tired looking man smiled at them. "Room for two?"_

 _"_ _Yes," Oliver answered, "Please. Just for tonight."_

 _"_ _On your way to Los Angeles?" the man asked, taking Oliver's card._

 _Oliver shrugged, his eyes dancing as he looked down at Felicity, "Maybe. I think we were hoping for a tropical island somewhere." Felicity snorted and the old man smiled at their inside joke._

 _He handed Oliver back his card, "Have a nice night."_

 _Oliver nodded, taking the key to their room and heading down the hallway. Felicity followed behind him. "We're on the third floor." He said, nodding to the stairs._

 _Felicity sighed, getting ready to hike up the three floors when Oliver grabbed her by the waist and tossed her over his shoulder. "Oliver," she giggled, "I do have two feet, you know."_

 _"_ _I know. But I like the view." He replied, tapping her ass lightly with the palm of his hand._

 _She giggled again. "I think you're going to like the view_ even more _when we get into that room." Oliver laughed, starting to take the stairs two at a time. Felicity squealed, "Oliver Queen, if you drop me, we are_ over _."_

 _"Oh really?" Oliver chuckled, rounding the last flight of stairs, he nearly bumped into a housekeeper with her cart. "Excuse us!" he laughed, nodding to her as they passed. Oliver planted Felicity back on the ground outside the door. She took a deep breath, looking up into his eyes and biting her lip, trying to keep a giant, dorky grin off of her face. "What?" he asked, smiling down at her._

 _Felicity glanced down the hallway to see the maid disappearing into the elevator. She shrugged, placing her hands on his forearms, "I've just never seen you so…cheerful. It's nice."_

 _"_ _I told you I was happy." He said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. She smiled, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him. It felt so invigorating and addicting to just kiss him whenever she felt like it. She could run her fingers over his tight biceps if she wanted, so she did. She could press her body against his and feel his hands wind around her waist, and she did. She could pick up one leg and wrap it around his waist, giving her leverage to feel the tight bulge in his pants pressed right where she wanted it. So she did. And he could run his hot fingers up her thigh and grip her ass, hearing her let out a deep breath of pleasure. So he did._

 _He pushed her back against the door of their room and pressed himself, the part of him that was aching for her, against her center. She let out a quiet moan, feeling a wetness between her legs. "Open the door," she growled hungrily against his lips, one hand raised above her head, palm open against the cold wood. The other was between them, reaching into his pocket for the key. Oliver heaved against her, not breaking the kiss as she handed him the key and he quickly opened the door, pushing her inside, he kicked the door shut behind them._

 _Neither of them bothered to look around, he just pushed her backward until she bumped into something. He'd been hoping they'd find the bed right away, but her ass was pressed against the TV stand. He hoisted her onto it and pressed himself between her legs again. Felicity tugged at his jacket until he helped her take it off. And then her fingers were pushing his t-shirt up, her mouth open with her effort to breathe._

 _He pulled the shirt over his head quickly so he could kiss her again as soon as possible. Once their lips and bodies were connected again, Felicity's hands fumbled between them to the button on his pants. Oliver's breathing became shallow as he felt her unbutton his jeans and yank them down his waist. He slid out of them easily, kicking them out of his way. In his boxers, he began to undress her. He pulled her jacket off first, and then used both of his hands to lift her and slide her dress up and over her body in one quick movement. He pulled her to him again, unclasping the hook on her bra. She slid the straps down and tossed her bra away while he kissed her neck. Once naked, his kisses fell to her chest, and then her breasts. Felicity's head involuntarily fell back as Oliver's mouth found one of her nipples, a sharp hiss escaping her mouth._

 _Her head hit a hard surface, and she realized that she wasn't on a TV stand, but a mirrored dresser. She watched the mirror for a moment while Oliver's mouth explored her body. His eyes intent on knowing every curve and freckle. The peculiar, third person view that the mirror offered was intriguing, but then she_ felt _him, felt him push his erection against her sensitive spot, and a low, guttural noise escaped from the back of her throat. She was taken aback by how good he could feel. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist and he lifted her up, carrying her to the bed that was inevitably across from the mirror._

 _He laid her on her back and continued his search to know every part of her body. He started at her ear, taking it in his mouth and sucking. She sighed, her fingers pressed to his back. When he moved his mouth to nip at her neck with his teeth, she felt electricity run through her veins and her hands immediately found their way to his boxers. She pushed them down, and Oliver stood up to take them off completely._

 _She leaned up on her elbows to watch him, amazed that he could look better now than in the dream she'd had. And amazed that he was hers. Oliver slowly climbed back over her, his chest brushing against hers. She could feel his hardness against her thigh as he looked into her eyes before kissing her. But because she was her, she could never really stop her mind from going to unwanted places. And with Oliver on top of her, with a really special moment finally getting to the best part, she wondered if this was how he'd touched Isabel, Sara, Laurel…She shook her head, trying to get the unwanted thought out of her head._ He's married. To someone else. He has a Nanda Parbat wife _. It wasn't fair to think like that; not to either of them. She knew the story,_ their _story, yet she let her thoughts get out of context. She let herself feel a moment of fear._

 _He was right at her entrance, but while the look in his eyes was hungry and wild, her light was flickering. A flash of panic creeping onto her face before her features smoothed._

 _Oliver froze, his eyebrows furrowed, "Felicity…are you okay?"_

 _"_ _Yeah," she nodded, trying to offer a reassuring smile. There was a long pause between them where Oliver stayed completely still above her. Felicity glanced out the window. "Sorry." She said. Forcing a smile, she looked back up at him, "Go ahead. I'm fine."_

 _The crease between Oliver's eyes only got deeper, "_ _'_ Go ahead' _doesn't really sound very convincing...or sexy. What's wrong?" He smoothed her hair with his fingers and she bit her lip. Oliver smiled down at her sweetly, "Hey," he whispered, "It's okay, Felicity."_

 _She hid her face behind her hands, "Oh god, I'm sorry. I'm being stupid." Oliver waited, still in his position above her, until she took her hands away. But even then, she just lowered them enough for him to see her eyes. She looked embarrassed. "This…I'm sorry. You know me, my mind goes at a mile a minute and sometimes things just pop in there. Unwanted things. Unappreciated things."_

 _"_ _What is it?" he asked gently, "You can tell me anything."_

 _"_ _You're married." She paraphrased, not mentioning the other doubts that had crept into her head; not saying that the number of people he'd been with was intimidating to her, despite their night in Nanda Parbat. Oliver hesitated, trying to piece together where her head was at, something he worked hard on every day. Of course, he knew he was technically married. But he wasn't quite sure what that had to do with the extremely sexy and naked Felicity that was underneath him at that moment._

 _"_ _In theory…if you can call it a marriage." He answered slowly, having no idea where this situation was going to go. She went back to hiding behind her hands, not answering. Oliver sighed, using one arm on the bed to hold himself up, and the other to gently pull her hands away from her face, "Felicity, we don't have to do anything that you don't want to do."_

 _Felicity nodded from beneath him, still feeling the heat of her red cheeks. She was embarrassed, but she felt a little more relaxed after his words. She felt badly, they'd both been so…turned on in that moment, and she felt like she ruined it. She pursed her lips, "It's not that I don't_ want _to...of course I do. God, I think I've been thinking about doing that with you for probably a lot longer than I should have been." Oliver just smiled down at her, not convinced that the marriage was the only reason she was holding back. She wrapped her hands around his neck. "You know," she said, running her nails through his hair, "There are_ other _things that we can do." She quirked her eyebrow at him and the smirk on her face was wicked, and utterly seductive. Oliver felt himself stiffen against her leg even more._

 _"_ _Oh god," he mumbled, crushing his lips to hers, "I'm so in love with you."_

* * *

He missed her? Felicity was still thinking about it as she sipped her coffee the next morning. What had made him say it? They'd barely communicated all week; he acted like he was over her when they saw each other, and then, ' _I miss you'_? It wasn't out of drunkenness or pity that he'd said it. At least she had been deliriously intoxicated when she poured her heart out to him. But he said it so simply, like he was getting something off of his chest that was weighing him down. And then he'd just left.

Felicity turned her computer on just as a knocking sounded at her door. She got up with a sigh, taking her coffee with her. She opened the door to see a wide eyed Sara Lance standing in front of her. "Oliver's not here." Felicity said, turning away and walking back to her computer.

Sara followed, closing the door behind her, "I know. He's at Dig's."

"He's been staying at Diggle's? With you?" Her eyes narrowed.

Sara shook her head, "No, not like _that_. Not since the night you broke up with him at least." Felicity felt a flush come over her face as her heart dropped into her stomach. Oliver had slept with Sara the night they broke up? She was thinking of every moment they'd shared since then, trying to find any indication of it…but he'd denied everything relating to him being interested in Sara. Had he lied? Felicity heard the smack of Sara hitting herself in the forehead. Her eyes squeezed shut, "Oh god, I just pieced together the look on your face to what I just said. I'm not very good at the whole communication thing, yet. What I _meant_ is, Oliver stayed at Diggle's the night you two broke up. Not _with_ me. Well he slept on the floor and I was on the couch. But he's been staying at the loft. He stopped by Digg's this morning to talk about H.I.V.E. business…but he's at the loft. That's all." Sara exhaled.

Felicity fought a smile, wondering how Sara had picked up her rambling. "Okay." Felicity said. She pulled out a chair for Sara, "Do you want some coffee?"

"Coffee?" Sara asked, "Don't you want to hit me or something? That's what I came here for. Go ahead. I promise I won't use any of those weird instinctual fighting moves on you. Just punch me."

Felicity stared at her blankly, "What?"

"I remember the bar. I was an idiot. Punch me."

Felicity sighed, getting up to fix her a cup of coffee, "Sara, I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, but I think you deserve some slack when it comes to social situations. Or any kind of situations, really. It's okay. Let's just...let it go." She shrugged. If it were anyone else that tried to slide up to Oliver just to make her jealous, she would not be so forgiving. She hadn't been; not for Oliver. But Sara got immunity.

Sara visibly relaxed, "Good. Because I may be a bit out of touch with things, but I'd be a fool if I didn't see the pull that you and Oliver have to each other. I wouldn't get in between that."

Felicity leaned over the counter, sliding her the mug, "I didn't say we were back together or anything."

"Diggle said he stayed here that night," Sara wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Felicity laughed.

"Not like that. It was more like a drunk relapse."

Sara bit her lip, "Cookie, if you're referring to Oliver as an addiction…maybe you should give him another chance."

"Addictions aren't healthy." Felicity answered quickly.

"That kind is." Sara said with quiet confidence, like she knew about it. It was the same quiet confidence that Sara used to always avow. She offered Felicity a small smile, "He's addicted to you too, you know. So what's stopping you?"

"I just think that he has some things to figure out."

"Things about me?" Sara asked.

Felicity laughed once, "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this."

"No," Sara argued, always pushing the boundary, also just like she used to. Sara was subconsciously becoming more like herself every day, and it made Felicity happy. "You're never going to be happy, Felicity, if that's what you're waiting for. Oliver's dead ex-girlfriend, who he said goodbye to and buried... is back. And yes, I can imagine how terrifying that could be for a new couple like you guys, but I think that you're the one who needs to figure her shit out. Oliver knows what he wants. He knows who he's in love with. And it isn't me. The only person on the face of the planet who can't see that is you." Sara poked her arm.

Felicity sighed, "I don't know, Sara."

Sara hesitated, "What are you afraid of, Felicity?"

* * *

Felicity planned on spending the day with Ray, but Sara was apparently desperate for some time with a friend. Felicity knew how suffocated Sara felt at Laurel's apartment with two Lance worriers always down her throat. But she also knew how desperate Laurel was for Sara's approval, and how it must feel to be denied of it. _Huh_ , she wondered, i _s that how Oliver feels when he gets caught between Laurel and Sara?_ The feeling was definitely uncomfortable. They spent the morning having a faux-teenage girl sleepover. It was Felicity's idea when Sara mentioned that she wondered what it was like to be a teenager.

So they put on silk bath robes, watched chick flicks with face masks on, and painted each other's nails. As the credits rolled, they laid head to toe on the couch. Sara nudged Felicity's leg with her foot, "Aren't we supposed to have a pillow fight or something?"

Felicity laughed, "That only happens in movies. I don't think real girls ever really do it. I never did, at least. But then again, I didn't have many friends." Felicity frowned, "None of the sleepovers I went to were like this, actually. Usually I was the one they invited so they could play dress up and give me make-overs."

Sara smiled, "Thanks for this, Felicity. You've been like a sister to me lately, and don't think I don't appreciate you forgiving me so easily. Plus, I know you had plans today."

Felicity pursed her lips, _she was the one who brought up sisters..._ "Look, Sara, I know that you and Laurel aren't on the same page, but I think it'd be a lot easier if you just gave her a chance. She really wants to get to know you, and-" her phone began to ring and Felicity held it up, looking at the screen. Ray's picture came up, and she held up a finger to Sara, answering it.

"Felicity, I really need you to come by today."

"I told you I'd be there tomorrow. Sara's here today."

"Please, it really needs to be today, Felicity."

Felicity sighed, glancing at Sara, "Okay, we'll be there in an hour." She hung up, hopping onto Sara and tapping her legs, "Wanna meet Ray Palmer!?" She asked enthusiastically.

Sara rolled her eyes, laughing, "Not particularly. But I'm guessing you have to go."

Felicity frowned, "It won't take long. I don't know what his deal is but he needs to see me today. We can get sushi after. Come with me. Come. Please. I wasn't done talking about Laurel."

Sara groaned and rolled her eyes, "Fine. If I say I'll be nicer to Laurel, can we be done with that though?" Sara sighed, and Felicity nodded, jumping off the couch, dancing her way to her room.

"For now!" Felicity called, running into her room to change. As twisted as it all truly was, Sara was probably her best friend. And the reason she broke up with Oliver. But somehow, she just felt better, happier, when she was around Sara. She saw the irony in it all, but she didn't really care. Their lives were so complicated in the first place, what did it even matter?

When they got to the hospital, Felicity found Ray in his room; a room that should have fit two people, but Ray was able to buy it out. He looked bored. He looked healed. But he still had a couple more nights in the hospital for observation. It was a miracle that he'd even survived, and the doctors were not taking any risks.

"Felicity." He said, "Finally."

"Ray, this is Sara Lance."

Ray paused, his hands freezing, his mouth open and his eyes wide. Sara laughed, "I thought for one of the richest men in the world, he would have better people skills."

"I'm sorry," Ray stammered. "I've seen pictures of you, heard stories about you, but I never really thought I'd see you…in person."

"Ah, yes, the whole resurrection thing. I keep forgetting." She joked and Felicity laughed, but Ray still looked stunned.

"Is he okay?" Sara leaned towards Felicity, who rolled her eyes and walked to Palmer's bed side.

"He's fine. Right? You feel okay?"

Ray sighed, shaking his head to snap out of it and pull his eyes away from Sara, "Yeah. I'm fine. I feel great. Sorry to be such a pest today, but this is important." He handed Felicity the documents that he had in his hands. "These need your signature by the end of the day."

Felicity skimmed them over, all the color leaving her face, "You're giving me Palmer Technologies?"

"Owner and CEO." Ray smiled. "You signed those papers already though, so technically I'm not _giving_ my company to you," he beamed, "You already _have_ it."

Felicity shook her head, "Ray, you can't…"

"I can, actually. Felicity, We signed those papers before…everything happened. And now…I'm leaving. I'm getting out of Starling City. It was always my plan." He clutched Felicity's hand in his, "The company is yours."

"Ray…that's millions of dollars."

Ray shrugged, "You saved my life, Felicity. You deserve this. Besides, Palmer Tech was my dream once. I think you know what I dream about now. I want to save people. I want to help. And not from behind a desk."

"Ray…" Felicity leaned forward, "You're not even out of the hospital yet. Why don't you just stay for a while…"

"And what?" Ray smiled politely, "There's nothing here for me anymore, Felicity. You're happy. My company is in capable hands." He paused, giving her a reassuring smile, "It's time for me to go." He said gently.

Sara stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, feeling emotional in a way she hadn't since her resurrection. She couldn't admit it to herself, but she related to that feeling all too well. That feeling of not belonging in a place like this.

"Fine. But no flying around in a costume. Please, you've already narrowly survived death once…no need to overdo it."

Palmer laughed, "I'll be fine, Felicity."

"Where are you going to go?" She asked.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "Somewhere that will make me happy."

Felicity smiled slightly, "I'm glad I know you, Ray Palmer."

Ray squeezed her hand, "Thank you for everything."

* * *

Felicity walked out of the hospital with a smile on her face. Not only was she now a millionaire who had her dream job, but she was making her friends happy. The conversation had turned to Sara, and Ray didn't hold back in his questioning. Sara seemed surprised at first, but eventually she grew to appreciate his blunt honesty, and it was like Felicity wasn't even there. She let them talk for half an hour without saying a word, and then got up to leave. Sara insisted on coming too, but Felicity brushed her off, saying that it'd be good for her to have another friend. Ray's smile at that said it all.

Felicity walked into her apartment and did a little dance for herself, for her matchmaking abilities, and for two of her closest friends who seemed like they could get along really well. She pulled out a bottle of wine and patted herself on the back. "Well done, Felicity. Not that you really did anything..." She shrugged, taking a generous sip of wine.

She shook her head, stepping out of her heels, "You _really_ need to stop talking to yourself," she mumbled. Felicity went into the bedroom and shrugged off her clothes, getting back into the silk bathrobe she'd been basking in from earlier that morning. She placed her wine glass on the edge of the tub and ran the water for a bath, tossing bath salts and bubbles in once the water ran warm.

She picked up her glass and headed back into her room to turn music on. As she walked in, she nearly dropped her wine when she noticed his figure sitting by the window. His face was shaded, and she placed her hand over her heart. "God, Oliver, you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

He didn't turn his head, just continued to look out the window. "Oliver." Felicity said, coming closer.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" She crossed her arms, fear and discomfort swelling in her throat at his silence. Still no answer. She stepped closer, standing behind the chair.

"Is Thea okay?" She asked. He stood up then, taking a moment to look out the window as he sighed. And then he turned around, but he wasn't Oliver.


	11. Chapter 11

_Your reviews fuel my soul, so I've been a fanfiction writing powerhouse who can't be stopped because you're all so lovely. I wrote another flashback like last chapter, M-RATED for safety reasons. Don't tell on me. Did you tell on me to your mom? Your mom told my mom and I'm grounded. Thanks. Just kidding, I'm 20, my mother doesn't ground me. But she probably wouldn't be pleased if she read these chapters. SORRY MOM._

* * *

Almost

Felicity's wine glass dropped, shattering on the hardwood floor. Red wine splashed up at her feet as she ran for the bathroom, locking it behind her. Her heart was beating so fast that she could hear it. The man on the other side of the door didn't make a sound, but she swore that he could hear her heart too; it was that loud. She took a deep breath, glancing around the bathroom for a weapon or something. Her phone was out in the kitchen. Felicity grabbed at her hair, squeezing her eyes shut. _Think, think, think_. She turned the bath water off, leaving the apartment eerily silent.

Felicity sat down with her back against the tub, her head turned to look at the door. She could see his shadow walk by, out of the bedroom. Tears swelled in her eyes, and she had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from screaming. She didn't know who he was, but she knew it wasn't good. She pulled her legs up to her chest, wondering what he was looking for, since it obviously wasn't her. She listened for about ten minutes while he rummaged through her things, and then she heard her front door open. She didn't bear to open the door and see if he'd really left though. So she sat, alone and afraid on her own bathroom floor, for three hours, just listening to silence.

She finally stood up with shaking hands and opened the door slowly. She paused with her hand on the doorknob, her heart still racing as she listened. Her bedroom was empty, but she could see where he'd walked through the spilled wine and broken glass.

She made her way into the kitchen, and her front door was wide open. She grabbed her keys and ran for her car; getting in and not stopping until she was at Oliver's. Sobs ripped through her as she got out and climbed the stairs to his door. She unlocked it without hesitation, bee-lining straight for his room. He met her in the hallway, hearing her noisy entrance.

She let out a yelp of surprise when she crashed into him. But before he could even pull away, she clutched to him, her arms winding so tightly around his waist that he was immediately worried. "What's wrong?" He asked, "Felicity, what happened?"

"My apartment. Oh, god, I thought he was _you_!" She held him tighter, "Oliver, someone broke into my apartment."

"What? What happened?"

"I don't know," she shook her head against his chest, "I locked myself in the bathroom. He was looking for something. I don't know if he found it or not. I…I hid in there for three hours after he left. I was so scared."

"Felicity. Sh, sh, you're okay. You're safe."

She looked up at him with her tear soaked eyes, "I swore it was you, Oliver." He ran his fingers through her hair until she calmed down. "Can I stay here tonight? Just…crash on your floor until we figure out what the hell happened."

"Of course you can. You take the bed, I'll sleep on the floor." He answered. Oliver led her into his room, flicking the light on and opening the dresser, "Uh, the only sleep things you left here are…lingerie. Do you want one of my sweatshirts? Sweatpants?" Felicity nodded, tying her hair into a pony tail and taking a deep breath. _You're okay. In a few minutes, you'll be lying in Oliver's bed, protected and safe in his loft_. _You can cuddle into his sweatshirt and fall asleep smelling him. You're okay_. Oliver handed her the clothes and turned his back to her.

She hadn't even noticed that all he wore were boxer briefs. _Goes to show how shaken I am_. But she let her eyes wander to his back as she changed, looking at the scars and the tattoo that she'd analyzed a million times, ran her fingers over the marks like she could heal them. Was it strange to miss even his _back_? His scars?

She didn't bother with the sweatpants since she now felt a rush of heat course through her whole body. The sweatshirt reached her mid-thigh, and she held out the pants, "Here." She mumbled. "I think I'll be fine like this."

Oliver glanced down her body, an uncomfortable look crossing his face, and cleared his throat. "Okay." He took the sweats and put them on the dresser, "I'll just leave them here in case you get cold."

Felicity nodded, "Oliver. Who would do this?"

"Someone from The H.I.V.E.? Maybe Hollis figured us out."

She shook her head, "It was only last night. How could they know about the tracker and figure out who I am so fast?" She froze, "Oh. _Oh_." She looked up at him with wide eyes, "I became a millionaire today. Ray gave me Palmer Technologies."

Oliver raised his eyebrows, but didn't acknowledge the news, "I don't know what this is about yet, Felicity. But I promise you, I'll find out. Try not to think about it. You look tired, just get some sleep, and we'll talk about it in the morning."

She sighed, closing her eyes. "I've never felt like that in my entire life, Oliver. Not with Merlyn, or Slade, or even The Count." Oliver sighed too, knowing that he'd been there for her through all of those things. But not this, he hadn't been there tonight. As if his guilt wasn't weighing him down enough, he added one more thing to the list that keeps him up at night.

"I won't let anyone hurt you, Felicity." Oliver said, his voice low.

Felicity nodded, trying and failing to force a smile, "Why do you think I came right to you?"

Oliver's eyes softened and he sighed, touching her cheek, "Lie down." He pulled a blanket and pillow from the closet, making a makeshift bed on the floor, "I'll be right here."

* * *

Oliver prepared a full breakfast the next morning. He made blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, orange juice, and cut strawberries. He hadn't slept at all, and it was a good distraction for a while. She came down wearing the sweatshirt that she'd fallen asleep in, if two hours could count as sleep. Her hair was wild from all her tossing and turning that Oliver had listened to all night. "It smells amazing down here." She said, stepping off of the last step. She watched as Oliver glanced up at her and quickly away, his eyes doing that brooding thing as he cleared his throat. She looked down at herself; nothing was out of place. The sweatshirt was baggier and longer than most of the dresses she wore to work, so she wasn't sure why he acted like she'd just walked naked in front of him.

"Yeah," he answered, "I couldn't really sleep, so I figured I'd make breakfast."

Felicity sat down at the island, "Me either." She said, picking up a strawberry and biting into it. Oliver focused on his pancakes. He flipped it easily in the air. Felicity laughed, "Where did you learn to do that? You made pancakes for me for three weeks, and I never saw you do that."

Oliver shrugged, "I don't like to reveal all of my talents at once." He winked at her and she suddenly didn't feel tired or worried anymore.

She decided to go with it. "Teach me." She said. Oliver smiled, gesturing with his head for her to come over. She approached the stove, rolling her sleeves up as she walked. He stepped back to let her in. He poured a circle of batter, and she glanced at him, "Okay, how do I flip it?"

"Just grab the handle of the pan and toss it up. It's all in the wrist." Felicity followed his instructions, but the pancake landed on the counter instead of the pan. Oliver laughed, grabbing paper towels and throwing it away. "A little gentler." He stepped behind her and placed his hand over hers, showing her the motion. She couldn't help her reaction to lean into him, it came way too naturally. He stepped away, pouring more batter into the pan. And then he was behind her again, his hand over hers. She backed into him and cocked her head to the side in a way that would have made it easy for him to kiss her neck. But her eyes were forward, focusing on her task at hand. Oliver took a deep breath, trying to do the same.

He guided her hand until the pancake landed safely back in the pan. And then he removed his hand, cleared his throat, and stepped away. He leaned his back against the island, both of his hands pressed to the surface. She looked over her shoulder at him, "You okay?"

"Yeah. How are you feeling?"

Felicity shrugged, "I feel safe here…with you."

Oliver sighed, closing his eyes. He'd never be able to get her off of his mind if she was always sliding in comments like that. "I'll call Dig a little later. I don't want to wake the baby up."

"Right," she smirked, "Like that time you woke her up because you were afraid she was sleeping too long, and she cried for two hours straight?"

She looked over her shoulder to offer a teasing smile before turning back to the pancakes. Oliver stepped closer to her, dipping one finger in the batter and touching it to her face. "Oops."

Her mouth dropped open, "You _didn't_."

He laughed, wiping his finger on a paper towel. "Don't pick on me. I'm bigger than you."

She shrugged, "I'm smarter."

Oliver raised his eyebrows, smiling, "Really? Let's see what good that is when you're covered in pancake batter."

"Don't even think about it!" She raised her finger up at him in warning, but the smile on her face gave her away. Oliver took a step closer, shaking his head. "Oliver." She said sternly, "If you take one more step…" He ignored her, moving so he was only an inch away from her. He ran his finger over her cheek, the corner of her mouth where the batter was. Putting his finger in his mouth, he watched her. Felicity swallowed, trying hard not to let her mind go to dirty places. The moment hung between them. His eyes on her lips in such an obvious way that she couldn't help but let her own eyes wader to his lips. "I think we burned them." She said nervously, taking a step back, but Oliver's hand caught her waist.

Oliver watched her eyes as they widened, and he knew that she thought he'd kiss her. And he wanted to. But he also didn't want to scare her away. "I miss you," he said softly, like he had a couple of nights before.

Felicity broke free from his grip, and from his eyes, "Oliver," she said, closing her eyes, "You have to stop saying that. It's making it really hard to move on."

"Well, maybe we shouldn't be moving on." He replied. Felicity opened her eyes to look at him, and her head slowly shook in an answer. Oliver glanced away, "Let's eat." he said quietly.

Over breakfast, Felicity told Oliver the details of her previous day, her time with Sara, visiting Ray; she even babbled on about Ray and Sara a bit too long, until finally telling him about when she got home that night. "He was sitting in the chair by the window…the one that you always…anyway, I thought it was you. But Oliver, the more I think about it, the weirder it seems. He didn't just look like you from behind, I mean, it wasn't just his appearance. Something about it…when I saw him…there wasn't even a doubt in my mind that it was you. Not until he turned around. I got close to him…and I still thought it was you. He just…it just… _felt_ like you."

Oliver placed his hand over hers, "I was thinking that maybe you should stay here for a few days, with me, until we figure out who he was and what he was looking for."

Felicity laughed nervously, "What about Sara? Her superhero instincts could protect me. She could stay with me." Oliver just stared at her. "I could ask Laurel, too. John! He could stay at my place…or, since he has a kid maybe I should stay at his. You know what, let's just go back to the Lance sisters idea."

"Felicity…you shouldn't stay at your apartment, at least not for a while. Laurel barely has enough room at her place for Sara and Detective Lance. And Diggle has a lot on his plate right now. You can stay here. You'll be safe."

"It's not my safety that I'm worried about." She mumbled under her breath.

Oliver watched her, "Felicity…If I'm being honest, I want you here. I don't trust anyone else to protect you."

Felicity felt her face turn red, and she looked out of the window, "Oh. Okay." She answered. "I'll stay. But if you're being honest…will you answer one question for me?" Oliver nodded, and Felicity put her fork down, swallowing her last bite of strawberry, "Why do you seem so weird about the sweatshirt?" she gestured down to it, "Is it like, your favorite or something?"

Oliver stared at her, trying and failing to fight a smile. It meant something that out of all the questions she should have; about the intruder, The H.I.V.E. and Damien Darhk...she wondered about the look on his face at seeing her in the sweatshirt. He leaned forward, folding his hands on the table, "You're forgetting the last time you wore that sweatshirt…aren't you?"

Felicity's eyebrows furrowed as she looked back down at the sweatshirt. And then her head snapped up, her eyes wide as they met his and her eyebrows raised. " _Oh_. Oh. I mean, it's not that I forgot…about that, I just…I mean, I wasn't wearing it for very long before…"

Oliver smiled, unable to hide his amusement. _She brought it up, not me_.

* * *

 _They'd been out for an evening walk around Coast City, the place that they'd fallen in love with and decided to stay. It took them three days to get there after the night at the motel, and Felicity was ready for a place to stay put for a while. The sky was clear as they watched the sunset on the beach, Felicity between his legs as they faced the ocean. Once the sun set, they made their way to the pier for dinner. But halfway through their meal, they heard it. The whole pier shook, and then a moment later they watched as lightning lit up the sky over the sea. "Wow," Felicity said, "That was one of the most beautiful things I think I've ever seen."_

 _Oliver nodded, "Beautiful, and dangerous. We should probably get going before the rain comes." But by the time they finished and paid, small raindrops were falling. Oliver led Felicity by the hand through the streets, but they only made it half way back to their hotel when the raindrops turned into a downpour. Felicity stopped on the sidewalk and tipped her head back, closing her eyes and holding her hands in front of her to feel the rain. "Come on, crazy, you're going to catch a cold!" Oliver laughed._

 _Felicity smiled to, lowering her head back down to look at him through the sheets of rain. "Kiss me first."_

 _Oliver cocked his head to the side, "You really want to be that cliché couple?" he asked, but he came close and wrapped his arms around her._

 _She hit his arm, "Yes, yes I do." She wrapped her hands around his biceps, a big smile on her face._

 _As he kissed her, he couldn't hold in his laughter. "We're kissing in the rain." He said against her lips. "Did you ever think we'd be kissing in the rain?"_

 _She nodded, her lips sliding over his, her eyes still closed. "Yes. I had a few fantasies." Her eyes snapped open, "Not necessarily about_ you _, I just meant, don't most girls dream about being kissed in the rain?" she laughed nervously, "None of them were you-related, though. That'd be weird."_

 _He smiled, "And in those…not me-related fantasies…would he-whoever he is-" he said seriously, "pick you up like this," he lifted her easily, her body pressed against his. He had to look up at her now, "Would he kiss you like this?" The smile was gone now, and his face was earnest as he let her slide down his body until her lips met his. It was an intense, heat rising through every pore, feel it in naughty places kind of kiss and she was sure that if her feet had been on the ground, her knees would've given out._

 _She smiled as he set her back down, "That was just how I imagined it...however, of course, a different guy. Ryan Reynolds, maybe."_

 _Oliver laughed, "Of course."_

 _They made their way back to the hotel, but they were still dripping wet by the time they reached their room. Oliver discarded his shirt and pants by the door and hopped across the suite and into the bathroom to grab towels. "Cold, cold, cold," Felicity said, reaching her fingers out to him as he brought her the towel. She quickly let her dress fall to the floor before wrapping herself up in the towel, the straps of her white bra showing on her shoulders. Oliver's eyes lingered there, he hadn't seen her in her underwear since the night in the motel, and before that, not since Nanda Parbat."I'm going to change." She said, heading for the bedroom._

 _Oliver jumped in the shower while she changed, and by the time he got out, she was somewhere in the kitchen area. He pulled sweatpants on, not bothering with underwear or a shirt. He made his way out of the bedroom and glanced around, seeing her in the kitchen. She wore his sweatshirt, reaching her thighs. Oliver froze, unsure why this sent a shot of arousal through his body. He'd seen her in tight dresses, he'd seen in a bathing suit, in her underwear…he'd seen her naked for god's sake. And while all of those outfit choices had tortured him, there was something so domestic about her in that moment._

 _Her wet hair was in a messy bun to keep it away from her skin, the sweatshirt was huge and loose on her, making it impossible to even see the curves of her body. But it was_ his _sweatshirt._ His _girlfriend…dancing around the kitchen of their hotel while she apparently made brownies. His girlfriend that was currently sucking brownie batter off of her finger when she noticed him. Her eyes wide and innocent as she froze, her index finger still in her mouth._

 _The noise that escaped his mouth was involuntary, but it got her attention. She pulled her finger out and her eyes fell from his and down his body. "What?" she asked innocently._

 _He came closer, not taking his eyes off of her as he sat down on the counter top. "I'm really trying to be a modest and respectful boyfriend right now." He grumbled, sounding like a cranky teenager. Felicity laughed, coming between his legs. He let his arms rest on her shoulders as she slid her hands over his bare back. She looked up at him, her eyes mischievous behind her glasses._

 _Slowly, she ducked her head and pressed her lips to his chest. And then she did it again. And then her tongue ran across his collar bone, and his eyes closed, a low growl escaping his lips. "Felicity." He warned, his voice hoarse. But she did it again, this time her teeth nipping his neck. He took her chin and lifted her head, "I'd stop doing that if I were you, unless you want me to do it back."_

 _His words sent a thrill through her body as she pictured it; his lips on her skin. She stepped away, slowly raising the sweatshirt until it was over her head. She dropped it on the floor at his feet. He kept his gaze focused on the sweatshirt for a moment, letting his mind wonder what she'd look like. And when he finally did look up, the woman that he loved stood right in front of him, completely naked. "Are you trying to ruin me?"_

 _She shrugged, pulling her hair out of the bun and letting it fall over her shoulders. Apparently her hair was still cold, because certain parts of her body reacted. "Why don't_ you _ruin_ me _?" She asked. His eyes darkened, and he hopped off the counter, taking slow steps towards her. He knew her convictions, but he also knew other ways that he could meet her demands. He grasped her waist between his hands and picked her up, turning until she was seated on the counter where he'd just been._

 _He pressed his lips to hers, "Be careful what you wish for." He mumbled, his lips still on hers. She exhaled sharply as his fingers rubbed against the sensitive area between her legs. He continued his rhythm until he felt her shaking in pleasure, and then he pulled his hand away._

 _She frowned, opening her eyes and about to protest before Oliver dropped to his knees in front of her. Felicity bit her lip, the look in his eyes stimulating. He held her gaze for a moment, and the anticipation sent a chill through her body. "Oh!" she exclaimed when he tossed her leg over his shoulder. Her hands were in his hair before she knew what she was doing. When his tongue replaced what his fingers had been doing, Felicity cried out, her body jerking closer._

* * *

"You did tell me I'd catch a cold that night." Felicity said roughly. She could see the memory so clearly. Oliver just smiled slightly, like it was a fond one to him, what he'd done to her. Their eyes were unwavering, both of them remembering how good that night was, the energy between them sparked like they shared a secret. "We had a lot of fun together, didn't we?" She asked rhetorically, because the answer to that was obvious to both of them.

Oliver's eyes were relentless against hers, like he was begging for her to forget everything else and go back to that night. "Every night with you was just as perfect as that one." His voice was quiet and pained. Felicity had to clear her throat, to clear the knot that was forming at how much she missed him.

After doing the dishes together, Oliver called Diggle and filled him in. He seemed just as concerned as Oliver felt. "John and Sara will be here in half an hour."

"Sara was at Diggle's? Did she stay there last night?" Felicity asked, feeling a little guilty that Sara turned to Diggle when she had to get out of Laurel's place. And feeling like she didn't know what to do to help either sister. Felicity offered her apartment, but neither of them ever took it.

"No, baby Sara. He's going to bring her. Lyla's in a meeting with Waller."

Felicity nodded, "Well, I guess I should go get dressed then." She glanced down at the sweatshirt again, seeing everything that he saw when he looked at it now. "Wait." she looked back up at him, "I don't have any clothes here."

"You can borrow something of Thea's." Oliver offered, "Go crazy, her closet is as big as her bedroom."

She smiled, "Sounds like heaven. You know, we should make a stop at the town house today, though. You and Diggle can check it out, and I'll need to grab some of my stuff," she hesitated, "If that offer to stay here still stands."

"Of course it does. We'll go over this afternoon." he smiled.

Felicity stood up and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, Oliver." Oliver hugged her back, feeling the softness of his sweatshirt and her hair beneath his hands.

He exhaled, "Anytime."


	12. Chapter 12

This is my House, This is my Home

Felicity stood in the kitchen area of the loft, fixing dinner before he got home. They'd spent the whole day preparing for a mission; drug cartels, but Felicity felt useless once she'd hacked into the database and supplied the team with a list of buyers. She got their location and Diggle and Oliver were gone within the hour. So she went back to the loft and sat around for an hour before deciding that she needed to do something.

The sun was just setting outside of the giant window, one of her all-time favorite views. She had music playing, and she tasted the sauce she was making just as her phone rang. "Lyla," Felicity said, surprised. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. Waller called me into a meeting, though. She said it's crucial, I think they brought in The Tomahawk. See, but Diggle's out stopping those drug dealers with Oliver…and my babysitter is sick…"

Felicity hesitated while she put the pieces together, "You could bring Sara here on your way to A.R.G.U.S. I was just making dinner." Felicity glanced down at her sauce. Cooking wasn't one of her talents, but her grandmother had taught her how to make one hell of a sauce. Even if it was the only thing that she could make well.

"Oh," Lyla sighed in relief, "that would be so helpful, Felicity, thank you so much."

"No problem," Felicity smiled, "I love hanging out with that little girl. See you soon." Soon was an understatement. Lyla was knocking on the door less than five minutes later. Felicity answered it, a bewildered look on her face. "How did you get here so fast?" she asked.

"I may have been at the coffee shop a block away." Lyla smiled sheepishly.

Felicity laughed, "Well, it sounds urgent," she held her arms out to take the baby, "We'll be fine here, Lyla." Felicity moved Sara's arm to wave at Lyla, "Say ' _bye-bye mommy. See you after your meeting.'_ "

Lyla smiled, dropping the diaper bag by the door, "Bye, princess. Mommy will be back soon." She looked at Felicity, "Thank you again, Felicity. I shouldn't be more than a few hours!" She called over her shoulder as she hurried toward the stairs.

Felicity closed the door, sighing and looking down at Sara, "Do you want some spaghetti?" she asked and Sara smiled. Felicity laughed, "Of course you do. I even cut up some watermelon for you because I heard that it's your favorite." The baby touched her cheek, smiling ear to ear. "Oh yeah," Felicity said, "We're going to have a good night."

After eating, Felicity set up a blanket and toys on the floor in front of the couch. It'd only been an hour, but Sara was exhausting. She sat down on the floor and picked up a block, toying with it as she leaned back. Sara fussed, and Felicity rolled her eyes, giving her the block. She was in the stage of, _there could be a million toys on the floor, but I only want the one that_ you _have._

A couple of minutes passed where Sara would hand Felicity a toy, and then immediately take it back. The sound of the door opening caught both of their attention and Oliver came through first, followed by John. "Hey," Felicity greeted, "How did it go?"

"It was good. The meth lab was right where you said it would be. We sent all of them right to the police station still in their gear." Diggle smiled before noticing Sara, "Did you kidnap my daughter?" Diggle asked.

Felicity laughed, "No. Lyla's in a meeting with Waller, she thinks it's about Hollis. She said she'd be back though, if you want to wait here." Felicity glanced at Oliver, "I mean, if that's okay with Oliver, of course."

Oliver sighed, "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't need my permission for anything you want to do here?"

Dig laughed, "So how's the living situation?" John hadn't been to the loft since the day they told him about the break in; which they still had no clues to. Nothing was missing from Felicity's town house. After that first night, Felicity picked up residency in Thea's room so that Oliver could have his bed back. Their days had become routine, Oliver made breakfast, and they'd go to Palmer Tech, where she'd hired Oliver to help her with the social and business side of the company. They were in the process of changing the name back to Queen Consolidated, but there were legal issues. Most of their evenings were spent debating about a new name, but they couldn't agree on one. Then Oliver would make dinner, they'd watch a movie, do paperwork, or find something else to do until it was time for bed. And then they'd go into their respective rooms and close the door.

It was domestic. It was _boring_ , Felicity often noted. Oliver was always pleasant and more than accommodating, but he kept his tortured, deeply-in-love-with-this-woman face at bay. He didn't tell her that he missed her anymore, which, kind of only made her miss him more.

"Good." Felicity answered quietly. "We work well…living together."

Oliver met her eyes, but didn't speak. Diggle shook his head, unable to hide his disbelief that the two of them still weren't together. "Well, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to go see what my wife's up to with Waller, would you watch her for a while longer?"

Felicity swallowed, her and Oliver, together, taking care of a baby. "Yeah." She choked out.

Oliver nodded, "Take your time."

After he left, Oliver came and sat down next to Felicity. He picked up a stuffed elephant and played with its ears. Sara squirmed, making that irritated noise. Oliver glanced from her to Felicity, and Felicity rolled her eyes. She took the animal from Oliver and gave it to Sara, whose face lit up. "She just wanted it because you had it. She doesn't even like that one." Felicity laughed. Oliver joined in too, testing her theory by picking up a book with Elmo on the cover. Sara dropped the elephant and reached for the book, making Felicity and Oliver both laugh harder.

Felicity's eyes closed as she laughed, leaning over until her forehead rested on his shoulder, "She's been doing that for the past hour." She said, her laughter stopping.

Oliver glanced down at Felicity, "This is nice." He said, watching Sara while every part of him relaxed at Felicity's head on his shoulder.

Felicity let a silent moment hang between them, wondering if a similar moment could be in their future. And she knew it could. Marriage, babies, a long life with him; she wanted all of it. "Well," she answered, picking her head back up and pushing the thought from her mind, "It probably didn't compare to chasing meth dealers around the city on a motorcycle."

"Mm," Oliver answered, "A motorcycle, I might add, that you still refuse to get on. Maybe if you'd just try it, you could've had an exciting time like I did."

Felicity snorted, "No thanks, Sara and I were nice and safe at home." Her eyes were on his as she spoke, and she watched the smile fall off his face at her last word. His face got serious, and she knew she'd slipped. She often referred to his loft as home in her head, but never out loud. But she also wasn't about to take it back. She cleared her throat, glancing away, "I left you some spaghetti in the fridge for you if you're hungry."

Oliver's eyes drifted to Sara and he nodded, "Um, I've actually got plans tonight. I'm just going to jump in the shower and then head out."

Felicity smiled, her eyebrows furrowing, "What plans? I've been with you nearly every second of every day for the past week and I know we don't have any board meetings or criminals to bust."

Oliver looked uncomfortable, "It's a date, actually." Felicity felt her heart drop, but she fought to keep the smile on her face as she looked away.

"Oh." she nodded.

Oliver rubbed his hand over Sara's head, his brow furrowing as we wondered how Felicity felt about it. He stood up and made his way up the stairs, pausing half way to turn around and look at her. "I love you, Felicity." He said, his voice hoarse. "And I miss you every single day." Felicity stared at him, unsure what to say. She wanted to say it back, but she didn't. She watched as he smiled with sad eyes and waited until she heard the shower turn on. Then she pulled Sara into her lap, appreciative for the baby's presence when she needed a good hug. And luckily Sara Diggle was a great hugger. She immediately wrapped her arms around Felicity's neck and nestled into her chest.

Felicity couldn't think of a single person who Oliver could have a date with. As far as she knew, he hadn't been with anyone since the first time he told her that he loved her. Then he'd been with her, then they'd been in this awkward break-up limbo. And now they were living together. There wasn't really an opportunity to meet anyone. Or maybe that was just her. Maybe she was stupid enough to think that he was in the same place as her of not even dreaming of seeing anyone else. Maybe he'd spent a few nights with other people when they weren't talking after the break-up. She sighed, knowing she didn't have a right to ask him about it. Or to ask him to stay. But she really, really wanted to.

Oliver came down the stairs rolling up his sleeves. He wore dress pants and nice shoes. She forced a smile, "You look nice." She offered as Sara craned out of her grip and reached for Oliver.

"Thank you," he said coolly, hiding any kind of emotions that stirred at Felicity sitting on the floor of his loft with a baby in her arms. He picked Sara up when her reaching for him turned to fussing, carrying her into the kitchen area. Felicity knelt on the floor, starting to pick up all of Sara's toys. The sun had set, but she hadn't noticed to turn on the lights. So Oliver flicked them on. "I'll just um…I'll give Sara a snack and head out. She should be fine after that until Dig and Lyla come back. Will you be okay here?"

Felicity nodded, running her hands down her thighs, feeling that she was in one of the most awkward moments of her life as it was happening. "Yeah. Lyla left her some PJ's, so I think I'll just give her a bath and get her ready for bed."

Oliver paused with Sara on his hip, "Okay," he said, his eyes trying to read hers. It wasn't just part of him that wished he was staying home to do that with her; it was all of him. Felicity looked back down at the toys, finishing putting them all in the basket that they kept for these nights. She stood up, folding the blanket and tossing it onto the basket. Without glancing at Oliver, she brushed past him into the kitchen and started doing the dishes. Oliver followed, Sara on his hip. He touched her arm, "Leave it, I can do them when I get home."

Felicity's smile was small and fake, "No, its fine. It was our dinner anyway. You…didn't eat here, so, you know, no reason why you should have to do the dishes."

Oliver sighed, his eyes sad, "If this bothers you, Felicity…"

Felicity laughed once, "No. Of course not. We're not together anymore. That wouldn't be fair. Me, being jealous, that wouldn't be fair at all."

"I know…but if it does…"

She looked at him over her shoulder, "You'll what?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, "Not go?" She asked sarcastically.

Oliver pursed his lips. "Yes. Exactly. I wouldn't go."

Felicity just stared at him, feeling her eyes start to water. She turned back to the sink, "Oliver, I don't want to play games. We were getting along so well." And they were. Living together for the past week was so easy. This was the only bump in the road. The only time it had gotten complicated.

"I'm not playing games, Felicity." His voice was so penetrating that she had to turn around, to see his face. He stood before her with Sara still on his hip, holding her with both arms while she touched the stubble on his face. "I'm going on this date because McKenna is in town. She asked me if I was single, and I said yes...because I had to; because you made it that way. So, I was trying to move on." He hesitated, and Felicity bit her tongue, afraid she'd say something she'd regret, like 'don't'. "But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't cancel it if you said you wanted me to."

There was a long silence between them. Even Sara joined in, glancing between the two of them without making a noise. "So then move on Oliver. You don't get to tell me that you're going on a date and then say you love me. Do you know how confusing that is?"

Oliver closed his eyes for a moment before looking at her again, "Did you ever think that I stopped? I love you. I want you back, Felicity. And if you said yes, there wouldn't be a date."

Felicity felt the tears rolling down her face, but she ignored it, "I don't want you to go, Oliver. But I am terrified of being with you again, of getting hurt. I don't know if I'm ready."

Oliver sighed, turning his back and heading for his room, "Oliver!" She cried, her voice breaking, "Where are you going?"

"To tell McKenna that I can't make it tonight."

Felicity shook her head, crossing the room and taking Sara from his arms, "That's not fair to you. You want to move on? Go."

Oliver stared down at her, "Is that what you want; to move on? You're not ready to be with me...but I would wait, Felicity."

She swallowed the knot in her throat, "I couldn't ask you to do that."

He shook his head, "Do you still love me?" He laughed once, "Are you missing me as much as I'm missing you?"

Felicity's face broke in a sob, "Yes." She said, holding Sara a little closer, thinking about how much she wanted his arms around her in that moment. And it was like he could read her mind; Oliver stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her and Sara. His hand cupped Sara's head while he rested his lips on Felicity's ear.

"I'm so sorry, Felicity. I'd take everything back if I could. And I know that you're afraid, but I haven't doubted you and the future with you that I want. Not once." He pulled away to look into her eyes, "I want to marry you someday, Felicity," he smiled softly, glancing down at Sara, "I want to have a family with you. I want you by my side for the rest of my life."

Hearing everything that she'd been hoping for coming from him, listening to him voice every dream that she had resulted in a strange moment of clarity, and he watched it happen in her eyes. She looked up from his hand on Sara's head to his eyes, and he tilted his chin up, "Felicity?"

"Just kiss me," she whispered. It took Oliver a moment to register what she'd said, and process what it meant, but as soon as he did, his lips were on hers. He held her face, and she gripped his arm with her free hand. Kissing him was like coming home, like the moment you realize that you were away from home for too long, and you'd been telling yourself that you weren't homesick. But then you finally understand how wrong you were. And she knew that if this was her home, it was definitely where she belonged. Sara squealed in her arms, and Felicity laughed against Oliver's lips. He grinned back and looked down at the baby, who had a wide smile and clapped her hands.

Felicity smiled slightly, still watching Sara, "If we're really doing this…it's everything. The superhero stuff, the company stuff, relationship stuff…every part of our lives will involve each other. It's _that_ kind of all in."

"No take-backs." He smiled down at her, his heart picking up speed at the notion that she might be about to say what he'd been dying to hear her say for weeks now. "That's what I'm hoping for."

* * *

Her breath grew heavy as he leaned her back into the couch, holding his body over hers. He pressed himself gently against her, his arms holding him up on either side of her head. He knotted his fingers in her hair and she picked her head up to kiss him harder. It was like they couldn't get close enough. "Oh, god," she said, her fingers as light as butterflies as they ran over his back. "How did I forget how good this was?" she murmured against his lips.

He laughed, uncontrollable happiness filling every part of his body and soul, "Felicity." He said her name simply, like it was a vow, a pact and a prayer.

"Oliver." She answered with her own smile, "I really, _really_ , love you." She said, like it both terrified and thrilled her. His phone began to ring, and Felicity reached into his pocket to pull it out. She held it up to him, not opening her eyes or slowing her lips. "Is it Sara? That wouldn't even be funny." She said, but she giggled breathily.

Oliver shook his head, keeping his lips on hers as he opened his eyes and glanced at the screen. "Malcolm."

"Oliver." She touched his face, "I made my choice. I'm staying. We're doing this. All of that mushy, terrifying all in stuff. Now answer your damn phone."

He kissed her once, not bothering to move while he answered it because he planned on picking up right where they left off. "What?" he answered.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" Their conversations had always been straightforward. No need for niceties.

Oliver sighed, resting his head on Felicity's chest. She ran her nails through his hair. "Bad first."

"Nyssa returned to Nanda Parbat. She doesn't know about Sara, but it's only a matter of time."

"Okay." Oliver said slowly, "Is that it? Bad; she's there, good; she doesn't know?"

Malcolm laughed once, "No. Bad is that you'll need to come up with a plan for when Nyssa finds out that Sara is alive and sets her sight on Starling City. The good news is…she signed the papers."

Oliver froze. "Oh."

"You're a free man, Oliver Queen."

Oliver picked his head up and looked at Felicity. His eyes were wide, and she raised an eyebrow at him in question. He'd spent weeks being teased by Felicity; Felicity and her kissing that would abruptly stop, her relentless hands, and of course her lingerie that she would only allow him to admire but not remove. All because of that stupid marriage and the wife they couldn't find to complete the divorce. He hung up, "Nyssa is in Nanda Parbat." Oliver said.

Felicity's eyes widened, "Is she on a war path for Sara?"

He shook his head, filing how to deal with that to a later time, "Not yet. She doesn't know Sara's alive."

Felicity shook her head, resting her hands on her head, "Oh, god, we have to figure out what to do when she does find out."

"She divorced me." He said, a smile spreading across his face.

Felicity felt butterflies in her stomach. She'd had every intention of making love to him already, but the fact that he was no longer married was some kind of sign. It'd been her excuse, the fake, scared reason that she held back. She laughed nervously, wondering if it was a coincidence that the night that Oliver confessed his undying love was also the night that Felicity gave in, _and_ the night that her excuses crumbled. She no longer had that crutch. But she realized she didn't want or need it anymore. "You know, most people say those words sounding a little sadder." She teased, winding her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

With her clinging to him, he sat up on the couch so that she was in his lap. "Not me." He smiled, kissing her again. Their kissing built back up to the intensity that they had before they were interrupted. Felicity moved her hips against his, reveling in the curse words that escaped his mouth in breathy moans.

She stood up, slowly pulling her pants and underwear off and standing before him naked. Oliver stood too, picking her up and letting her wrap herself around him again. He multi-tasked; kissing her and taking the rest of his clothes off at the same time. He sat back down, and when Felicity moved her hips again, the sensation was a thousand times better than before. They both let out their own noises of pleasure, their eyes meeting. Felicity smiled, bringing her lips back to his. She kissed him softly, chastely, like time had stopped and they were dragging each second out as long as they could. "Are you sure?" Oliver asked, his hands winding around her body so that he could lay her back down. She nodded as he settled between her legs.

He kissed her again and again, his tongue moving against hers and building the moment up to unreal heights. By the time it occurred to her, she was so ready for him that she actually felt annoyed that he wasn't inside of her yet. "Do you have a condom?" she asked breathlessly into his mouth, wiggling beneath him. Oliver inhaled, clenching his jaw at her movements and how good she felt.

Oliver pulled back slightly and bit his lip, "No."

"Not even in your room?" She asked, picking her head up to reach his neck, not sure if she even cared either way.

He shook his head and she fought a smile, "Oliver Queen, how do you not have a single condom in this place?" she asked, more out of disbelief than anything else.

He hesitated for a moment, "I threw them all out." He said quietly.

Felicity's mouth opened, and then closed. " _Why_?" she asked, her face puzzled.

He sighed, "Because if I wasn't having sex with _you_ then I didn't need them." He admitted quickly in a single breath.

Felicity laughed, "I love you." Oliver didn't move, unsure if her line of questioning meant she didn't want to do this anymore. Felicity smirked, knowing that no condoms would be the perfect excuse to stop. But she didn't care, and she didn't want to. Her eyes were on his as she harshly pulled his hips down, rocking them against hers. She could feel him hard against her, and she used her hand to position him at her entrance. He groaned when her hand wrapped around him.

He sighed, pressing his chest to hers as he kissed her again. He let the moment calm, pulling away to look her in the eye. She looked up at him with wide, confident eyes. And then he pushed into her, and her head fell back against the couch as a sigh escaped her mouth, like she'd lost her breath. He was watching her face again, taken aback by how sexy just her _face_ was. He knew that he could spend the rest of his life with her, making love to her, but the fact that _this_ was what it felt like…he didn't have a single doubt that he would never stop loving her. _This is it. This is as good as it gets,_ he thought, pushing himself into her again.

Felicity woke up the next morning with the sun. The couch was big enough for both of them to sleep comfortably, but she'd had trouble sleeping in the best way possible. It took hours for either of them to even be remotely ready for sleep, but Oliver had felt the fatigue first. He'd kissed her with complete serenity on his face, complete acceptance. She'd smiled up at him, promising that they were far from being through.

She wrapped a blanket around herself and started a pot of coffee. Oliver was a light sleeper, like no one she'd ever seen before. Not that it didn't make sense, but she still tried her hardest to keep her noises to a minimum. To her surprise, he didn't even stir.

Once she had her coffee, she snuck by him again to go out onto the balcony. With the blanket around her and a cup of coffee in her hand; the man she was insanely in love with naked and asleep in the next room; she felt the kind of peace that she believed Oliver felt. Just a complete and reckless abandon of any worry, doubt, or insecurity. She knew that Oliver Queen was the big love of her life. The one that made you forget all of the others, the one you compared anyone new to. But she doubted that she'd ever have to compare someone new to Oliver, because she was never going to let him go again.

She turned around to look at him through the window. The sun was rising, and he was still asleep. Unusual for him, definitely. She smiled slightly at the sight of him, sleeping on his stomach on the couch, completely spent from their night. His arms were spread out and his hands tucked under the pillow that he slept on. The blanket was covering him from the waist down, offering an appeasing view of his back. But it was the look on his face that she couldn't get over. He'd never looked so serene. She'd watched him sleep before, but there was always a crease between his eyes, or his lips were a hard line. Not on that morning though. Felicity smiled, holding her coffee cup between her hands as she watched him, knowing that she'd had a part in that.

And then she felt a hand cover her mouth, and she dropped her cup. The sound of her mug crashing on the concrete didn't wake Oliver up, and she tried to scream, but the hand smelled sweet, and she knew that it was some kind of drug. Her vision was darkening. Oliver sleeping peacefully was the last thing she saw before everything went black.


End file.
